"This is it..."

[Perello]

reality 1.0 

This was a day that Cindy Parker knew would come sooner or later. A day she hoped she would be ready for and had the time to get ready for… but that didn’t make it any easier.

Sitting at Lenox Hill Hospital with tears streaming down her face, Cindy waited patiently for her mother to arrive in the waiting room. She was surrounded by a number of different people either waiting to get called in to the emergency room or waiting on their loved ones, and had already received the news of her father's passing. She had already broke the news to her mother, and now was just trying to wrap her head around all of it.

“Wow…” She whispered, pushing the final tear away from her cheek. “I can’t believe this is happening right now.”

A couple of people in the waiting room looked over at Cyn as she continued to talk to herself, but she was in her own world, oblivious to anything going on around her.

“Why right now? Why is everything happening right now? Why?!”

To Cyn, it was starting to feel like the universe conspired against her to make sure she wasn’t happy. To make sure that she couldn’t go a week without being miserable… and it always seemed to work.

“I really can’t be here right now.”

Cyn jumped right out her seat and grabbed her phone off the chair next to her. Avoiding any eye contact whatsoever, she tucked her head down and walked toward the elevator just as it began coming down to her floor.

A loud ‘ding’ echoed throughout the hospital waiting room as the doors began to widen open, getting Cyn to look up and see her mother. She was wearing a pair of dark glasses so her eyes weren’t visible, and what appeared to be Cyn’s fathers letterman jacket from his high school basketball days.

“....”

No words were spoken, just Cyn jumping into her mother's arms to be embraced in a tight hug. She thought she was all cried out, but more tears began streaming down her cheeks as her mother pet her hair gently, letting Cyn feel comfortable enough to let all of her emotions out

She wanted to yell. She wanted to scream. But right now? All she could do was cry as she heard the elevator door ding before the doors shut themselves closed.

“You can go home, Cyn.” Her mother whispered, “I’ll do… whatever I have to do here and everything. You shouldn’t be here right now.”

Cyn finally pulled away from her mother, still not making any eye contact as she backed away.

“Yeah, I can’t be here. I don’t even know how I sat here for as long as I did.” She said with nothing but sorrow in her voice. “I just can’t believe this actually happened. Like…” She tried to continue, but immediately choked up.

“I know, Cyn. I know.” Her mother replied, as she reached her hand forward and pressed it against shoulder.

Sniffling back, Cyn finally looked up at her mom, her eyes a soft shade of red and drowning behind her tears. “Why aren’t you crying?” Cindy asked.

“I… I don’t know.” Her mother replied in a soft tone. “I guess it hasn’t me yet. Or I’ve been ready for this day. I’m sure it’ll happen soon, though.” Cyn’s mother continued, letting out a sigh as she pulled her sunglasses off the bridge of her nose. “He fought hard, Cyn…”

“Yeah, but not hard enough…”

The elevator dinged again, opening itself up behind Cindy. Her mother was somewhat surprised by Cindy’s choice of words, but didn’t question it as she watched her daughter spin around and dart out of the elevator.

Cindy didn’t know how to deal with death. This was the first actual time that she had to deal with losing someone close to her, not counting the loss of both her grandmothers at a very early age.

Death as a whole was totally new to her, and for it to take her father? It was something Cindy had no idea how she’d get through…

---

thoughts… 

You know, if I would’ve known that this is how things would’ve turned out, I would’ve never wanted to become champion in the first place! First Zero rips away the legitimacy of my championship win and has people actually believing the crap  spewing out of his mouth, and not even a week later… my dad dies.  

Really can’t believe this is happening me. Really can’t believe that the happiest time of my life since Nolan was born has turned into… this. A nightmare. A living nightmare that I wish I could wake up from but I just can't because it's not dream. All of this actually happening...  

I don’t want to be around people. I haven’t hung out with any friends in forever. I can’t stand going to arenas for shows or having to fake a smile in front of all the fans.  I don't use any of my social media accounts. I can’t even go to my mom's house anymore because I start to cry! 

… I’ve seriously lost all motivation for everything, and I don’t know when or if it’ll ever come back. Perfect timing, too, right? Right when I become the FGA World Champion. Right when I was starting to hit my prime as the boys in the back say…  

But some thing’s are more important in life, I guess. Like my sanity for example! Though some would question how much of that is actually left. I’d say it’s still in tact, but I gueeeeeess I could see why people would think otherwise.  

So now the question is… what do I do? Retirement is something I’ve been considering for quite some time, so maybe now is the perfect time? But how? How can I just retire when I’m thee wrestler in FGA right now? I can’t just walk out on my fans! I can’t just throw a match like Zero claims he did! I have too much pride to even consider something as silly as that!  

I guess I just answered my own question, huh?  

If I’m going out, I have to go out the only way I know how… 

Swinging.  

I win, I ride off into the sunset like Peyton Manning! I lose? I’ll just walk away quietly. 

But no matter which road I take, there’s one thing that’s a certainty… 

For one last time… I’ll be the one who steals the show... and I'll prove once again why I deserve to call myself a champion.

---

reality 2.0

After having a few hours to process everything, Cindy found herself lying on her couch with her cousin sitting on the floor, and Nolan in his room more than likely playing video games.

“I think Nolan’s worried about you, Cyn.” Kim spoke softly, unsure of how to even approach her cousin.

“He has nothing to worry about.” Cindy replied, her eyes wide open as she glared up at the ceiling. “I just need to sit here for a couple of minutes and…” She paused, but only for a moment. “... think about stuff. Like I don’t even know how I’m supposed to tell Nolan! I never had to do anything like this before!”

“You’ve been sitting there for three hours already, Cyn.” Kim answered, “And I’m pretty sure Nolan knows something’s wrong. He’s not a dumb kid, Cyn.” Kim continued as she pushed herself up to her feet. “And you’re horrible at hiding things, especially when something’s wrong.”

Cyn turned her head only to look at Kim, her eyes showing the pain she was in. “I just… I just don’t know what to do, Kim.” Cyn said softly, “I’m thirty years old and I should be able to handle this, but I can’t! You have no idea how hard it is right now to hold it together because I just want to---” She paused, letting out a long sigh. “---I really don’t even wanna be here right now.”

Although the tears were done for now, Cyn was much more upset now than she was before. The tears were gone, but the non stop thoughts of her father continued to float around in her mind.

“I’m just mad, Kim, you know? I’m mad that I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. Mad that there’s nothing that I can do to change what happened!” Cyn sighed, “But more than that… I’m just sad, and it's a different sad. A sad that I never felt before. I feel…” She paused, trying to find the right word. “Empty.”

“I know how that is, Cyn.” Kim told her cousin, “And that’s gonna be how you feel for a little while, but eventually, you’ll be back to your bubbly and annoying self.” She said with a smile.

“Maybe. I don’t feel like being bubbly and annoying right now. I just…” Cyn hesitated, “I just wanna curl up into a ball and lay here until I rot away. I think that’s what I’m gonna do actually.”

Cyn finally sat up from the couch and pulled the bottom of her sweatshirt over her knees, curling herself up into a literal ball before laying down on her side. Kim couldn’t help but chuckle as she watched Cyn struggle to keep her long legs underneath the sweatshirt, staring at her until Cyn gave up and laid motionless.

“Forget the ball! I’m just lying here until I turn into dust.”

Kim let out a sigh and walked out of the living room, figuring that her cousin simply needed time to herself.

three hours later…

Her phone was blowing up and people had even stopped by her home, but Cyn ignored each attempt at communication. She had even sent Nolan and Kim out to the movies, stating that she needed alone time to process everything and figure out how to tell Nolan what happened to his grandfather.

After dwelling in her own sorrow, Cyn finally got up from her couch and walked straight into her kitchen where she saw the FGA World Championship resting on her table.

“Pretty shiney.” Cyn whispered, showing that there was still some life inside of her.

She made her way over to the fridge and pulled the door open to grab a can of Sprite out from the inside, then turned her focus back to the FGA World Championship. Slowly, she took a few steps toward the title and picked it up off the table, staring at her own reflection in the gold.

“We had some horrible timing, shiney. I mean, I’m a mess right now. A complete mess. And you? Well…” She paused, shrugging her shoulders just a bit. “... well… you’re you. The biggest prize in the wrestling business. Something only a few special wrestlers have been able to hold.” Another pause.

“And you deserve the undivided attention of whoever gets to wear you…” She took down a hard gulp, blowing her hair out of her face before she continued. “And I just can’t give you that now. I don’t think I ever will be able to give you that actually. For a long time now I’ve been trying to juggle my personal life and my professional life, and I failed…” A single tear slid down her cheek.

“Both of those lives need me one hundred percent, and it stinks that I’m just now realizing it. I spent months and months doing everything in my power to finally call myself champion. I became obsessed with showing the world that I can be the face of a company and look what that got me.” A sigh escaped her lips.

“I lost a friend in Zero. I missed out on whatever time I could’ve spent with my dad. Nolan’s grades are going down because I’m not there to help him when he needs it…” She sniffled, “I just can’t do this anymore.”

Another tear slid down Cindy’s cheek, the realization of everything… everything starting to hit her.

“I’ve been lying to myself thinking that I was superwoman. Heck, I even pretended to be a superhero in Cyncica… but I’m not superwoman. I’m not Cyncica or even Cyncity…” She set the title down on the table, then wiped the tears away from her cheek.

“I’m just Cindy Parker. And it’s time that I go back to being just Cindy Parker.”

Letting out a sigh, Cyn sat her can of Sprite down onto her table and gently swiped her finger across the main plate of the FGA World Championship.

“But there’s one thing left to do…” She picked the championship up, slung it over her shoulder, and glared at the nameplate which read ‘Cyncity.’

“Beat Zero and make sure he can never disgrace you again. I rather hand the championship over to vacant than let Zero become a two time FGA World Champion!” She exclaimed, looking up at her front door once she heard a car pulling into her driveway.

“Cyncity has one last rodeo left in her for Gold Rush…” She stopped, hearing footsteps clattering towards her front door. “But after that? I’m going back to being Cindy Parker full-time.”

She set the championship down just as the front door popped open, revealing Nolan’s smiling face.

“Mommyyy! That Deadpool movie was so siiiiiiiiiick!” He exclaimed, ripping his jacket off to toss it back at Kim.

“Was i---” Cyn stopped, “Wait a freaking minute! Deadpool?!” She yelled, looking right over at Kim before she continued. “You took him to see Deadpool?!”

“Ah. I see someone’s somewhat back to normal.” Kim answered with an eye roll. “Don’t worry, I covered his eyes and ears during the bad parts.”

“Bad parts?!” Cyn questioned, “That entire movie is all bad parts! Holy crap, you told m---” She stopped to catch her breath and flail her arms. “You told me you were going to see Batman versus Superman!”

“That movie sucks, though.” Kim replied bluntly.

“Yeah, mom. That movie sucks.”

Cyn covered her face with her hands, furious that Kim and Nolan lied to her. She pulled her hands down and glanced over at the FGA World Championship, realizing at that moment that she was making the right decision.

“OKAY! EVERYONE’S FREAKING GROUNDED! NOLAN IS GROUNDED FROM ELECTRONICS, AND KIM IS GROUNDED FROM… EVERYTHING!”

The coping process was only beginning, and although there was still a long road ahead, eventually... 

Cindy Parker would be okay.

---

[ON CAMERA]

I’ve been trying to figure out what to say here for the last few days and I really don’t know. I should explain why I’ve kept my appearances minimal and why I haven’t acted like myself whenever I did show my face. I should talk about how Zero’s a jerk and everything that comes out of his ugly mouth is a lie! 

… but I just can’t. 

I can’t tell everyone why I just come to the show, wrestle, and leave. I can’t tell everyone why I’ve been a shell of who I usually am because… well… it’s personal. Something that I don’t need or want people knowing because I already know I’ll get treated differently. 

I don’t want to be treated any different, peoples. I want the target on my back, and I want everyone to keep showing me their true colors while I’m sitting at the top of the Arts of Frontier Grappling. I want people to continue telling the world how they really feel about me, because at the end of the day that saves me a whole heck of a lot of time. 

I’m tired of dealing with phony friends. I’m tired of people smiling in my face while they wait for me to turn around so they could stab me in the back. I’m tired of people holding grudges against me for no reason! I’m tired of turning the other cheek and trying to fix friendships that are shattered!

I'm just... tired.

There's only one thing I regret about my career. One thing that that I wish I didn't do and that's this:

For the last four years, I’ve literally tried so hard to be accepted. To have friends. To have people there to give me a hug when I'm down, or tweet OH YAY! YOU DID IT CYN! GOOD JOB, CYN! when I did something good...

… and I really don’t understand why. I’ve always had the support of those who mattered to me. I’ve always had the support of the amazing fans all around the world. But for whatever reason… I wanted the locker rooms acceptance. I didn’t want to be Cyncity, one of the best female wrestlers in the bizz… 

I wanted to be Cyncity, one of the boys. Someone who all the dudes didn’t notice the boobs or long hair on, but someone who was just like them. 

And I got what I wanted. I became one of the boys and I became the FGA World Champion. But somewhere on my road to the top, I started to care way too much about what everyone else thought. It drove me crazy thinking that there was someone backstage that didn’t like me. I almost cried when me and Dom’s friendship ended! Heck, my gullibleness and need for acceptance got my stinkin wrist broken!

But since I won the FGA World Championship? I just suddenly stopped caring about... everything.

I don’t know if it was the win itself, or Zero claiming that he let me win… but something in my head triggered. Something that just made me think… the heck with all of them! 

And how could you blame me? The list of crap that I’ve had to deal with in FGA goes a mile long, and even the kindest people have their breaking point.. 

Safe to say that I’ve reached mine… 

Zero McHannon was someone who I considered a friend. Someone who I literally brought Thanksgiving dinner to before. Someone who I had tigers with! Someone that I thought I could trust and would never steer me wrong, but obviously I was the one steering myself wrong. 

Over the last month, Zero has proven that what everyone says about him is true. He’s scum. Scum that will pretend to be your bestie, but the moment you take something away from him… friendships? They mean nothing. 

That’s the story of Cyncity and Zero McHannon right there, folks. Friends who turned into bitter enemies over championship gold and a bruised ego. 

How could you look at yourself in the mirror, Zero? How could you sit there and take pride as a man knowing that whenever the going gets tough… you make excuses? It’s all it’s ever been with you, Zero. Excuses… 

Zero loses the EXODUS Championship…. Excuses. 

Zero falls off the face of the earth and comes back with what?! No, not presents! … Excuses. 

Zero gets BEAT by the BETTER WRESTLER for the FGA World Championship, and what do we hear? Nope, not congratulations, Cyn! … But excuses. 

You’re a big boy, Zero, but you’re more childish than my son. You’ve went from a respected man who the fans got behind because you made them care about your redemption, to a depressed middle schooler who just had his first beer and his first heartbreak. 

It disgusts me, Zero. It disgusts me to know that I used to call you my friend… my co-gm… only for you become this... this splitting image of everything that you claim to hate!

It’s sad, really… especially when I know that I after I beat you at Gold Rush, you’re probably going to fire out a barrage of excuses yet again! Unless, of course, I knock some sense into you… 

Which is exactly what I’m going to do, Zero! I know that my friend is still in there somewhere, and come heck or high water, I’m going to pull him back out even if it’s last thing I do! 

But before all that, I'm going to have my moment. The one that you took away from me after Canadian Stampede. This time? I won't even leave it open for you to make any bull-chovi excuses! Why?

Because I'm knocking you the heck out and not stopping until the referee has no choice but to stop the match himself! Two birds, one stone, Zero...

I knock some sense into you and hopefully you go back to normal...

And I get the moment that you ripped away from me the first time I beat you.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!