MAIN EVENT
Jimmy Page vs. Salem Cartier
The funky drum beat and riff of 'Phenomena' by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs fills the arena and the quirky yet energetic Salem Cartier appears at the entrance, tapping her foot and bopping her head to the beat...
"Hey!
Don't touch kid, sleep with the lights on.... Touch kid, how you surprise me...
Now roll kid, rock your body off!"
She raises both hands and motions for the fans to get hyped, then bops her way toward the ring in time with the song, popping her shoulders up and down, swaying her arms around with a coy smile and wink to the audience.
"You're something like a phenomena.... Something like an astronoma...
Now roll kid, rock your body off!"
J.A. Aldridge: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is your main event of the evening! Introducing first, now residing out on Toronto, Ontario, Canada! Weighing in at 130 pounds! She is “THE WITCH” SALEM CARTIER!
She steps up the ring steps, throws her hood back, clutches the top rope and puts her feet on the bottom rope, gazing around and rocking up and down on the ropes...
“Something like a phenomena, baby.... You're gonna get your body off"
She slides through the ropes, twirls off her jacket with a flourish and drops to a knee in the center of the ring, extending her arms out and playing to the crowd as the music fades.
Kris Cruise: Salem Cartier just spoke with our very own Spencer Burke just moments ago. She seems to be full of confidence heading into this third encounter.
Stephy Auger: Did you see her? Bopping around? Getting all cute? Does she think this is a game? Jimmy Page isn’t going out there to pick up the win in this third match. He’s going out there to hurt. He’s going out there to main. I don’t question Salem’s toughness. But I question her sanity by entering that ring tonight against Page.
The eerie cue up of "They Are Lost" by Last Remaining Pinnacle plays for ten seconds...then dies down, along with the lights. Suddenly the sound of drums and a electronic melody plays. The lights flash in red to the melody of the song. The song, "Can You Feel My Heart" by Bring Me The Horizon plays as a silhouette appears from out of the red. In his signature controlled stagger, Page comes out, hands extended, head down. Slowly his raises his head, soaked in the red lights. Fans boo him as he makes his way to the ring. He whips his hair out of his eyes as he snatches away from of the extended hands, almost threatening to hit someone. Page stops from time to time, swearing at some of the fans who chant "FUCK YOU JIMMY!!" and "PAGE SUCKS!!!" getting in their face. As Page finishes his march of ridicule, he stops at the top of the ramp. His eyes dead, his expression stoic as he glares around the arena, the lights still radiating that deadly red.
J.A. Aldridge: And her opponent, from Flint, Michigan! Weighing in at 236 pounds! He is “THE KING OF THE F’N WORLD” JIMMY PAGE!
Page goes in front of the ring, slides onto the apron on one knee and quickly gets inside. He goes to his right and climbs the turnbuckle and stands on top of it, swearing at the fans, pointing at himself, talking to them, taunting them, mocking them. He stands there for a moment, then routinely spits his gum at the crowd. Page leaps down, slides down into the corner, and sits on the middle turnbuckle. He rests his left hand on his cheek nonchalantly, waiting for the match to begin.
Kris Cruise: When it comes to FGA, 2015 was a horrible year for Jimmy Page. 2016 isn’t exactly starting off on the right foot, either. He loses a high profile match to Fujiko Mine at Canadian Stampede. Now, his calls to Chandler Scott have gone ignored.
Stephy Auger: Well I don’t even think Chandler is even cleared to return. But even if he was, do you think that he’d get back in the ring with Page in his current mind state? Page is a very dangerous man. If someone like Page blamed you for everything that was wrong with his life for over the past 365 days, would you be jumping through hoops to get in the ring with him?
Kris Cruise: … I can’t exactly say that I would.
The bell sounds as Page and Salem make their way to the center of the ring. The capacity crowd is at a fever pitch as these two grapplers stare each other down. Dueling “LET’S GO, SALEM” and “JIMMY PAGE SUCKS!” Chants echo throughout the arena. Cartier looks Page right in the eyes and shows that she isn’t at all intimidated. Page responds by throwing out a right cross. But Salem ducks and counters with a right hand. Page throws out another punch. But Salem blocks and counters with another punch of her own. She then nails Page with another punch… and another… and another. Each punch knocks Page further and further back towards the ropes. While Page is reeling, Salem turns and runs into the far ropes. When she comes back, she delivers a Cactus Clothesline, sending them both over the top rope and to the floor.
Kris Cruise: Already the action has spilled to the floor and we’re not even a minute into this one.
Stephy Auger: This one could get wild, Cruise.
After the two slowly get up on the floor, Salem kicks him in the shin before slamming him face-first onto the apron. She then shoves Page back into the ring. After climbing up onto the apron, Page lunges forward, delivering a shoulder thrust through the ropes. He then goes to deliver a vertical suplex back into the ring, but Salem blocks the move. So Page tries to muscle her up for another vertical suplex. But again, Salem blocks the move. So Page lets go and throws out a straight right to the jaw. But Salem ducks the blow. She then goes to deliver a punch of her own. But Page swats it down and counters with a gamengiri. While Salem is dazed, Page gets back up, grabs her and brings her back into the ring with a vertical suplex. He turns over and makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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Salem kicks out.
Kris Cruise: Both of these competitors were recently named for the Gold Rush Rumble. Salem was one of the first five names announced while Page was just announced moments ago. These two could go far if not win the Gold Rush Rumble.
Stephy Auger: This would be Salem’s first Rumble appearance. But Page is no stranger to the Rumble as he was a runner-up back in 2014.
Page picks up Salem, places her in a side headlock and rakes her face along the top rope. Once he lets go, she stumbles into a nearby corner. After a kidney punch, Page places Salem in another side headlock and rakes her face along one of the other top ropes. When he lets go, Salem stumbles into a nearby corner. Page then turns Salem around and delivers a series of shoulder thrusts, followed by a series of knee strikes, followed by a series of back elbow strikes. He then repeatedly rakes his forearm across Salem’s face before choking her with his left hand. The ref quickly gives him until the count of five to let go.
Ref: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…
Page lets go and steps back… only to choke Salem with his foot.
Ref: ONE… TWO… THREE… FOUR…
Page reluctantly lets go. He then doubles over Salem with a hard punch to the body. He then reaches out, lifts up Salem’s head by her hair and lunges forward, cracking her in the face with a headbutt. The crowd boos as he then takes Salem and whips her into the opposite corner. Page runs across the ring, but Salem catches him with a back elbow to the face. While Page stumbles back, Salem faces the crowd and goes for a springboard back elbow. But Page catches her in mid air and hurls her over his head with a half nelson suplex. The crowd boos as he crawls over and makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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Salem gets her shoulder up.
Kris Cruise: Big suplex there by Page. Salem was nearly dumped on her head with that one.
Page picks up Salem and doubles her over with a deep knee strike to the midsection. He then steps back before blasting her in the side of the head with a standing Boma Ye.
Kris Cruise: Trauma Symphony already from Page and Salem crumbles to the canvas.
ONE!
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TWO!
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Salem gets her shoulder up.
Page picks up Salem and whips her into the ropes. When Salem comes back, Page sets up for an back body drop. But Salem stops and counters with a kick to the face. As Page stands up, Salem turns and heads back into the ropes. When she returns, Page throws out a discus big boot. But Salem catches his foot. She then spins him around. But Page uses the momentum to turn her inside out with a lariat. The crowd boos as he makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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Salem gets her shoulder up.
Kris Cruise: Another nearfall for Page but man, is Salem getting rocked right now.
Stephy Auger: Did you hear that sound of flesh colliding on flesh? Did you see the sweat just fly off of her? Page is in a bad, bad mood and The Witch is in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Page picks up Salem and throws her down with a scoop slam. He then steps back before going to deliver an elbow drop. But Salem rolls out of the way. Page gets back up, marches over and goes for another elbow drop. But again, Salem roll out of the way. Annoyed, Page gets up, runs over and goes for a jumping elbow drop. But Salem rolls underneath the bottom rope and out onto the apron. Once Page returns to his feet, Salem doubles him over with a shoulder thrust through the ropes. She then slingshots herself over the top rope and executes a sunset flip. Page can be seen swinging his arms wildly as he tries to regain his balance. Once he does, he lunges down, grabs Salem by the throat with both hands and yanks her back up to her feet. He attempts to choke the life out of her. But Salem’s able to break the choke with a bell clap to the ears. She then follows up with a step-up enzuigiri, which sends Page down across the middle rope. After holding her throat, Salem takes off into the far ropes. When she returns she runs across the ring and delivers a leapfrog body guillotine across the back. Page falls onto his back as Salem slips out to the floor.
As Page slowly gets up on his knees, Salem slides back into the ring, runs over and delivers a somersault cutter. The crowd cheers as Page’s face is driven onto the canvas. She then lifts page back up onto his knees, measures him up and…
*THWACK!!!*She blasts him in the head with a Buzzsaw Kick. Salem steps back, measures Page up and…
*THWACK!!!*Salem nails him with another Buzzsaw Kick. She drops down and makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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Page gets his shoulder up.
Kris Cruise: Page got his shoulder up. But his head has got to be ringing not just after that bell clap to the ears, but those hard buzzsaw kicks to the head.
Stephy Auger: These two aren’t the types to pull punches. But they’re going extra hard in this one. The first two matches didn’t result in a winner. They’re doing everything in their power to tonight to make sure that they’re the winner of this third and potentially deciding match.
Salem picks up Page and nails him with a forward palm strike that knocks him back into the ropes. As Salem goes over to attack, Page throws out a kick to the midsection. But Salem swats it down and counters with another palm strike. She then throws out another for good measure. Salem them takes Page and goes for an irish whip. But Page reverses, sending her into the ropes. When Salem returns, Page goes for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. But Salem counters with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors takeover. Page returns to his feet, but Salem stops him with a knee strike to the midsection. She then grabs him from the side, brings him to a seated position with a rolling snapmare and then blasts him in the face with a discus knee strike. The crowd cheers as she makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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Page gets his shoulder up.
Salem picks up Page, presses his head down and nails him with right knee lift. She then follows up with a left knee lift. Salem them jumps up, delivering a double knee lift that drops Page down to his knees. While he’s down on all fours. Salem steps off to the side, measures him up and delivers a stiff kick to the ribs. After Page gets knocked over onto his back, he slowly sits up. But Salem is quick to deliver a stiff kick to the small of the back, which causes him to arch his back in pain. The crowd cheers as Salem delivers another shin kick to the back… and another… and another… and another… and another… and another… and another… and another… and another. She drops down, pushes Page down onto the canvas and makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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Page gets his shoulder up.
Kris Cruise: These two are just unloading on each other with hard strikes.
Stephy Auger: Considering what these two have been through recently, I’m surprised they’re even standing.
Salem picks up Page and whips him hard into the corner. The turnbuckles rattle as his spine collides with them. When Page begins to stagger from out of the corner, Salem grabs him and whips him hard into the opposite corner. After his back collides with the turnbuckles, Page crumbles to the mat. Salem then quickly heads over and makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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Page gets his foot on the bottom rope.
Salem picks up Page and slams him face-first into the top turnbuckle. After turning Page around, Salem unleashes a flurry of forearm strikes that send him slumping down in the corner. She then reaches down, pulls Page back up and whips him into the opposite corner. Salem runs across the ring. But Page knocks her down with a boot to the face. Page then heads out of the corner and slowly circles the ring while he holds his back.
Kris Cruise: Salem got rocked by that big boot. She went down!
Stephy Auger: Yeah and now Page is trying to walk off that pain in his back. He’s on his feet, she’s not. That’s a horrible spot to be in if you’re any opponent of Page’s...
Page heads back over to Salem. He picks her up and whips her into the ropes. When Salem comes back, Page throws out a clothesline. But Salem ducks and runs into the ropes. When Salem comes back, she knocks him down with a flying calf kick. Page gets back to his feet, but Salem knocks him down with another calf kick. As Page gets back to his feet, Salem connects with another calf kick. This one knocks Page back and sends him falling through the ropes and to the floor. Page slowly sits up on the floor and tries to shake out the cobwebs.
Kris Cruise: Could Salem be looking to take it to the air?
While Page tries to get back to his feet, Salem takes off into the far ropes. When she comes back, she goes for a topé con hilo. But Page catches her in mid air, runs and delivers a powerbomb across the edge of the apron. The move causes some fans in the front row to cringe and turn away. An “Oooooooh” can be heard throughout the crowd.
Kris Cruise: Jesus!
Page picks up Salem and repeatedly rams her back-first against the side of the ring. He then takes Salem and whips her hard into the steel steps. A loud thud can be heard as Salem crashes into the steps. As Salem slowly turns over and gets up on all fours next to the steps, Page runs over and delivers Trauma Symphony, kneeing her head against the steps. Another “Oooooh” can be heard from the crowd.
Stephy Auger: Her head!
Page picks up Salem and hooks both of her arms. After he looks back to measure the distance, Page hurls Salem over his head and delivers a double underhook suplex onto the steel steps. Salem bounces off the steps and falls to the floor.
Kris Cruise: The referee may want to get out there and consider stopping this thing...
Page kicks the top half of the steps over onto Salem before taking the bottom half and hurling it up the aisle.
Kris Cruise: What in the…?
Page reaches down, pulls up Salem and hooks her before delivering an exploder suplex into the ring post. Salem’s back smacks against the ring post before she lands head-first on the floor. Salem lays in a crumpled mess. The crowd boos as Salem appears to be all but out of it.
Page picks up Salem and rolls her back into the ring. He then rolls himself back in before making the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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THRE-NO!
Salem gets her foot on the bottom rope.
Page gets up, drags Salem away from the ropes and makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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THRE-NO!
Salem gets her shoulder up.
Kris Cruise: How Salem is even getting her shoulder up right now, I don’t know.
Stephy Auger: Now is the time to take a page out of Zero McHannon’s book. Take a dive, Salem! Stay down! Let Page win!
Kris Cruise: Would you stop with that Zero stuff!?
Page marches over into the corner and frantically begins untying the top and middle turnbuckles. Once they’re loose, Page rips them off, exposing the steel turnbuckles.
Kris Cruise: Ref… ref…. REF!
Page marches back over towards Salem and lifts about to lift her up for a turnbuckle powerbomb. But the ref immediately presses himself up against the exposed turnbuckles.
Kris Cruise: The senior official is doing the right thing by standing in front of those exposed turnbuckles.
Page shoves Salem down before marching back over into the corner. He shouts at the ref to get out of the way. But the ref shakes his head. So Page smirks before grabbing the official and shoving him out of the way. As Page turns and goes back over to pick up Salem, she quickly rolls him up in a small package.
ONE!
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TWO!
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Page kicks out.
After both grapplers get up, Page quickly doubles her over with a cross chop to the throat. He then grabs her by the hair before throwing her down with a mat slam. Salem immediately clutches the back of her head.
Page picks up Salem and lifts her up into a powerbomb position. But before Page can run into the corner and powerbomb her into the exposed turnbuckles, Salem delivers a several 12-to-6 elbows to the top of the head. She then drops down in front of Page. She then takes Page and whips him into the exposed turnbuckles. The crowd cheers as Page howls in pain after his back collides with the exposed steel. Salem then runs into the corner and goes for a cartwheel into a hip attack. But Page moves out of the way, causing Salem to crash into the exposed steel. Page quickly grabs her, lifts her up and delivers a turnbuckle powerbomb into the exposed turnbuckles. Salem bounces out of the corner before crumbling to the canvas. Page drops down and makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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THRE-NO!
The crowd explodes with cheers as Salem gets her shoulder up.
Page mounts himself on top of Salem and hammers down with rights and lefts. He then grabs Salem by the hair and repeatedly rams the back of her head against the canvas. He then turns back into a lateral press.
ONE!
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TWO!
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THRE-NO!
Salem gets her shoulder up.
Kris Cruise: There is no quit in Salem, is there?
Page yanks Salem back to her feet and nails her with a headbutt, which knocks her down. Page reaches down, yanks Salem back up and blasts her with another headbutt. Page peels Salem back off the canvas and goes for another headbutt. But this time, Salem blocks it with a forearm strike. Page then lunges forward for another elbow. But Salem cracks him with another forearm strike. Salem then grabs Page by the back of the neck with her right hand and uses her free arm to nail him with a flurry of short-range forearm strikes. While Page is dazed, Salem turns and takes off into the far ropes. When she comes back, she knocks him down with a lariat takedown to cheers from the crowd. But Salem is too exhausted to make the cover. While both grapplers are down, the ref starts his count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVE-
Salem slowly turns over and makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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T-NO!
The crowd sighs as Page gets his shoulder up.
As Salem slowly picks up Page, Page rams her back-first into the corner with the exposed turnbuckles. He then brings her out of the corner and goes for another turnbuckle powerbomb. But Salem delivers a flurry of overhead punches. After she drops down in front of him, she nails him with a shin kick to the side of the knee, dropping him down to one knee. Salem throws out another Buzzsaw Kick. But Page ducks. He quickly gets up from behind, grabs Salem from behind and delivers a Saito Suplex. The crowd boos as he makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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THRE-NO!
Salem gets her shoulder up.
Kris Cruise: Salem keeps getting hit with shot after shot. He suplexes her. He throws her down. He slams her down. But she still gets that shoulder up.
Stephy Auger: Because she’s an idiot. Stay down!
Page picks up Salem and whips her into the ropes. When Salem comes back, Page throws out a lariat. But Salem ducks. When Page turns around, she hops up onto his thighs and plants him with a monkey flip DDT. The crowd cheers as Page bounces off the canvas and turns over onto his back. She slowly turns over and makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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TH-NO!
The crowd sighs as Page gets his shoulder up.
Salem picks up Page and whips him into the corner. She then runs across the ring and delivers a forward palm strike. Salem takes Page and whips him into the opposite corner. She runs across the ring. But Page sends her stumbling back with a back elbow. Page then runs out of the corner and throws out a discus elbow. But Salem ducks, runs into the ropes and knocks him down with a springboard back elbow. As Page turns over and gets up on a knee, Salem quickly knocks him back down with a Shining Wizard. She makes the cover.
ONE!
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TWO!
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THR-NO!
Page gets his shoulder up.
Salem picks up Page and goes for an irish whip. But Page reverses, sending her into the ropes. When Salem comes back, Page turns her inside out with a discus big boot. The crowd boos as Salem’s motionless body lays on the canvas.
Kris Cruise: Sole Destruction from Page!
Stephy Auger: Salem looks like a mangled mess! That’s all she wrote, Cruise!
The crowd continues to boo as Page picks up Salem’s limp body by her hair before latching onto her back. He then goes for a wrist clutch transitioned into a rolling elbow. But Salem ducks. When she turns around, she leaps up and knocks him down with a Superman Elbow Smash. The crowd explodes into cheers as Page goes down.
Kris Cruise: New Hampshire Handshake! Page tried to end it with the Concussion~Grade III. But Salem ducked and countered with the New Hampshire Handshake!
Stephy Auger: ...
While both grapplers are down, the ref starts his count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SI-
After both grapplers slowly gets up to their feet, Salem leaps up and cracks him across the jaw with another New Hampshire Handshake. The crowd cheers as Page crumbles to the mat. Salem makes the cover…
ONE!
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TWO!
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THREE!
“Phenomena” plays throughout the arena as the crowd cheers.
J.A. Aldridge: Here is your winner, SALEM CARTIER!
After Salem rolls off of Page the ref kneels down and raises her arm. Salem tries to sit up. But she’s too exhausted and collapses onto her back.
Kris Cruise: We need this one would be hard hitting. But we didn’t know just how intense this match would get. Both competitors didn’t want to see this go to another countout or a draw or a double disqualification. They wanted this match to result in a winner. Unfortunately for Jimmy Page, that winner was Salem Cartier! For Stephy Auger, this is Kris Cruise signing off. We’ll see you in two weeks for the next episode of Vertigo!
