Behind The Paint #001
May 13, 2015 12:27:56 GMT -5
Post by Danny Diamond on May 13, 2015 12:27:56 GMT -5
Behind The Paint #001
Location: Berwick, Pennsylvania
OFF CAMERA
August 14th, 1996. I remember that date so clearly, even though it was almost twenty years ago. I was four. My mother and father were having one of their usual fights about one thing or another. But, I could feel it, this one was different. Their yelling was louder, their slamming harder. I sat in my room, three in the morning, fighting back the tears of a sad and frightened little child. Why was it like this? Why did they always have to argue? They tried to hide it in front of me, but I always heard it through the thin walls of our home. At the time, I had no clue what they were fighting about. I could hear their screaming, but it made no sense to me back then. Now I know. It was me. They were fighting over me. It was my fault. My mother tried telling me otherwise, but I knew the truth. There was one particular sentence that always stuck with me during this fight, something I had never heard before. "I'm leaving and I'm never coming back!" my father shouted, before the sound of a door slamming pulsed through my ears. I didn't know at the time how true that was.
I heard my mom crying. I was frightened and sad, but I knew something unusual had happened in this fight so I got out of bed and went downstairs. On my way down, I stopped near the middle of the steps to peak through and see where my mom was and what exactly was happening. All I saw was her rolled up on the couch, crying. So, I walked the rest of the way down the stairs and headed towards my mother. I didn't know what to do. She was my mom. I had heard her scream, I had heard her yell, but I had never heard, nor seen, her cry before. "Mommy ..." I lightly called, my mother looking up from her position. That's when I saw it, blood dripping from my mother's head. "Mommy!" I yelled, running towards my mother as the worry filled my body. As I ran to her, she sat up, trying to hold back the tears because she didn't want me to see her that way. I jumped on the couch and hugged my mother, asking, "wh-what happened?" Whilst we continued to hug, she told me, "it's okay, dear. Mommy just fell." Obviously, I knew that was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it. I just wanted my mother to be okay again.
I knew I had to ask her. I didn't want to, because I feared the answer, but I knew I had to. "Where's daddy?" Immediately after I asked this, my mother looked away. She was crying, but she didn't want me to see it. I waited, patiently, for her to turn back to me, which she did after about ten seconds. "Daddy's gone, honey." I sat there, next to her on the couch, confused by her answer. He's gone, but where did he go? But I didn't want to ask her that, because I knew it'd upset her even more. Wherever my father went, obviously my mother didn't want me to know. Or, maybe, she didn't want me to know where my father wasn't going to be. Either way, I didn't push it. I just sat there, scared and confused. "Mommy needs to get cleaned up, okay? Stay here, Andrew," my mother said, as I simply nodded. She got up and went into the kitchen.
I looked down at the couch next to me, seeing the blood stains left from my mother's head. Tears began forming in my eyes at the mere thought of what could've happened between my mother and father to cause this. I loved my father, but could he have really hurt my mother in such a way? I didn't know what to think. I tried convincing myself that maybe my mother deserved it, but I knew that wasn't true. I just couldn't bare thinking of my father in a negative light. They were everything to me, my mother and my father. I couldn't imagine life without either of them, but if this is what happens when my life is filled with both of them, how could that possibly continue?
As I sat there with only my thoughts to keep me company, I waited for my mother to return. I peeked out the window to see if maybe my father was still outside, but he wasn't. He was, just as my mother had said, gone. I thought about where he could be going. He kept his life outside of the house very separate from me, so I didn't know the places he liked to go. I just knew that usually, after these fights, he came home smelling weird and went right to sleep. Maybe that's what this was again, but something was telling me that it wasn't. I mean, this was already a night of firsts. I never saw my mother cry. I never saw her bleed. I never heard my father say he was leaving and never coming back. It just all seemed so different from what I was used to. I mean, they fought all the time, but it was never like this. It was always just some yelling, my father disappearing for a bit and then everything was back to normal the next morning.
My mother finally returned, the blood cleaned off of her head. "Okay, honey, it's time to go back to bed," she said, but I didn't get up. I couldn't think of what to say at that moment, but I didn't want to go back to sleep. I wanted my father to come home. As I sat there, not getting up nor responding to my mother, she asked me, "what's wrong, Andrew?" I looked up at her and responded with a question of my own, "when's daddy coming home?" I could see it in my mother's eyes. Her heart had dropped the instant I asked that question. She knew the true answer and couldn't tell me it, but she didn't want to lie, either. She sighed, before responding, "I don't know, honey." "Oh ..." is all I could say. I looked down, sniffling, as my mother rushed over to me. "Don't worry, Andrew," she said, "I'll always be here for you." I looked up at her, putting on the most convincing smile I could at that moment, but I knew my mom could see through it. Regardless, she didn't say anything, perhaps thinking it would be best if she didn't. "I love you, mommy," I said, quietly. "I love you too, Andrew," she replied, as we hugged. The whole world seemed to stand still for me at that moment while the two of us were hugging. I knew, no matter what my father did, I would always have my mother. Or so I thought. Oh, how little I knew.
The Rush of Gold
Location: Miami, Florida
ON CAMERA
"Hello. My name is Andrew Myers," I say, into the camera pointed at me. I know it was a very basic introduction, but I can't really think of another way to start this. I'm so nervous right now. I've trained for years, honing my craft, but I've never been in front of a camera like this, before. I don't know what I should say. Do I say what I think they want me to say? If so, what do I think that is? How long do I talk for? I don't know. Oh well, here goes nothing.
"I'm - uhh - I'm new to this. Not wrestling, no. I've done that for years. I'm new to being on camera. It's a pretty interesting experience, to say the least. As some of you may be aware, I'm FGA's newest signing. I've spent my life wanting this, ya know? Competition. Training and actually competing are two entirely different things. It's crazy to know that I'm going to be competing in something I've loved for so long soon. I know it won't be easy. I mean, my first match is the Gold Rush Rumble, where the winner goes on to face the FGA World Champion. I've got a lot of other wrestlers to go through in my debut match, but the prize is huge. I could be one of the quickest wrestlers to ever win the FGA World Championship. But, look, I'm a realist. I have faith in my abilities, but I know the chances of me winning the Gold Rush Rumble are slim to none. Does that mean I'm not going to give it my all? Hell no. I'm going to go out there and fight until I can't fight anymore. I guarantee, win or lose; I'm going to be talked about." At least, I hope I will.
"I've trained with the best of them, even including a former Mid Atlantic Legacy Champion here. I may not know much about the pageantry and the lights and all of that, but I do know wrestling. I know the holds, the throws, the jumps, the strikes, everything. I may be a rookie to the spectacle, but I'm a veteran to the action. I'm a fighter. Always have been, always will be. I've fought my ass off to get here and I'm going to fight my ass off some more to stay here." This is going well, I think. On the inside, it's like there's a knife in my gut, but on the outside, I'm calm, cool and collected. Huh. Maybe I do have what it takes here. "I've been watching FGA for some time now. I know what I'm getting into at Glory Road. Just look at some of the names in this match. Dom Harter, Cordy Stevenson, Tony Carmine, Cyncity ... Annie Zellor ... Sean Sands ..." Fuck, this is going to be hard. Maybe I can't do this. Maybe Jim was right. Maybe it was foolish of me to think I could live my dream.
"I'll be honest, here. I'm a nervous wreck right now. This is my debut match and I'm up against some of the best names this industry has ever seen. What's worse is all it takes is one mistake. One small fuck up and I'm over that top rope, on my ass on the floor. So, you combine that fact with the fact that I'm facing the best competition in the world and just ... I don't know. I'm trying to maintain my composure, here. I want you all to look at me as this confident guy and, to be honest, I am confident in my abilities, but I'm still horribly anxious. I just keep thinking what if I'm thrown out in a few seconds? What if I don't even have a decent showing? Will I be fired? Will I even want to show my face in a wrestling ring again? I don't handle embarrassment well, but I know there will be times when I am embarrassed. There will be matches I don't win. There will be wrestlers that outshine me. I just don't know if I'm ready to deal with that."
Maybe I'm not. Could this all be a mistake? Maybe my six years of training was all for nothing. Fuck. That can't be true. It just can't. I was born to do this. I'm a wrestler, it's just who I am. Even if I wanted to be something else, I couldn't, because this is where I belong.
"You know what? I am ready. My whole life has been one huge disappointment after another. I've dealt with so much bullshit you wouldn't believe it. But now - now I have a chance to finally make something out of myself. I can do it. I can live the dream. Yeah, my debut is going to be tough, but it's also going to be a test - a test that I'm damn sure going to pass. Call it arrogance or call it confidence, I'm going into Glory Road and I'll be damned if I don't leave a lasting impression on this company. For once in my life, I'm where I belong. I'm surrounded by talent and a wrestling ring, just the way I like it. So no, my chances of winning aren't good. And no, I don't care. I'm here to wrestle and that's what I'm going to do. Win or lose, tonight is the beginning of my legacy and I don't intend to go down without a fight. Let's fucking do this!"
Here we go. That's more like it. Fuck yeah! I'm ready. Let's start my career the right way. Time to shine.
Location: Berwick, Pennsylvania
OFF CAMERA
August 14th, 1996. I remember that date so clearly, even though it was almost twenty years ago. I was four. My mother and father were having one of their usual fights about one thing or another. But, I could feel it, this one was different. Their yelling was louder, their slamming harder. I sat in my room, three in the morning, fighting back the tears of a sad and frightened little child. Why was it like this? Why did they always have to argue? They tried to hide it in front of me, but I always heard it through the thin walls of our home. At the time, I had no clue what they were fighting about. I could hear their screaming, but it made no sense to me back then. Now I know. It was me. They were fighting over me. It was my fault. My mother tried telling me otherwise, but I knew the truth. There was one particular sentence that always stuck with me during this fight, something I had never heard before. "I'm leaving and I'm never coming back!" my father shouted, before the sound of a door slamming pulsed through my ears. I didn't know at the time how true that was.
I heard my mom crying. I was frightened and sad, but I knew something unusual had happened in this fight so I got out of bed and went downstairs. On my way down, I stopped near the middle of the steps to peak through and see where my mom was and what exactly was happening. All I saw was her rolled up on the couch, crying. So, I walked the rest of the way down the stairs and headed towards my mother. I didn't know what to do. She was my mom. I had heard her scream, I had heard her yell, but I had never heard, nor seen, her cry before. "Mommy ..." I lightly called, my mother looking up from her position. That's when I saw it, blood dripping from my mother's head. "Mommy!" I yelled, running towards my mother as the worry filled my body. As I ran to her, she sat up, trying to hold back the tears because she didn't want me to see her that way. I jumped on the couch and hugged my mother, asking, "wh-what happened?" Whilst we continued to hug, she told me, "it's okay, dear. Mommy just fell." Obviously, I knew that was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it. I just wanted my mother to be okay again.
I knew I had to ask her. I didn't want to, because I feared the answer, but I knew I had to. "Where's daddy?" Immediately after I asked this, my mother looked away. She was crying, but she didn't want me to see it. I waited, patiently, for her to turn back to me, which she did after about ten seconds. "Daddy's gone, honey." I sat there, next to her on the couch, confused by her answer. He's gone, but where did he go? But I didn't want to ask her that, because I knew it'd upset her even more. Wherever my father went, obviously my mother didn't want me to know. Or, maybe, she didn't want me to know where my father wasn't going to be. Either way, I didn't push it. I just sat there, scared and confused. "Mommy needs to get cleaned up, okay? Stay here, Andrew," my mother said, as I simply nodded. She got up and went into the kitchen.
I looked down at the couch next to me, seeing the blood stains left from my mother's head. Tears began forming in my eyes at the mere thought of what could've happened between my mother and father to cause this. I loved my father, but could he have really hurt my mother in such a way? I didn't know what to think. I tried convincing myself that maybe my mother deserved it, but I knew that wasn't true. I just couldn't bare thinking of my father in a negative light. They were everything to me, my mother and my father. I couldn't imagine life without either of them, but if this is what happens when my life is filled with both of them, how could that possibly continue?
As I sat there with only my thoughts to keep me company, I waited for my mother to return. I peeked out the window to see if maybe my father was still outside, but he wasn't. He was, just as my mother had said, gone. I thought about where he could be going. He kept his life outside of the house very separate from me, so I didn't know the places he liked to go. I just knew that usually, after these fights, he came home smelling weird and went right to sleep. Maybe that's what this was again, but something was telling me that it wasn't. I mean, this was already a night of firsts. I never saw my mother cry. I never saw her bleed. I never heard my father say he was leaving and never coming back. It just all seemed so different from what I was used to. I mean, they fought all the time, but it was never like this. It was always just some yelling, my father disappearing for a bit and then everything was back to normal the next morning.
My mother finally returned, the blood cleaned off of her head. "Okay, honey, it's time to go back to bed," she said, but I didn't get up. I couldn't think of what to say at that moment, but I didn't want to go back to sleep. I wanted my father to come home. As I sat there, not getting up nor responding to my mother, she asked me, "what's wrong, Andrew?" I looked up at her and responded with a question of my own, "when's daddy coming home?" I could see it in my mother's eyes. Her heart had dropped the instant I asked that question. She knew the true answer and couldn't tell me it, but she didn't want to lie, either. She sighed, before responding, "I don't know, honey." "Oh ..." is all I could say. I looked down, sniffling, as my mother rushed over to me. "Don't worry, Andrew," she said, "I'll always be here for you." I looked up at her, putting on the most convincing smile I could at that moment, but I knew my mom could see through it. Regardless, she didn't say anything, perhaps thinking it would be best if she didn't. "I love you, mommy," I said, quietly. "I love you too, Andrew," she replied, as we hugged. The whole world seemed to stand still for me at that moment while the two of us were hugging. I knew, no matter what my father did, I would always have my mother. Or so I thought. Oh, how little I knew.
The Rush of Gold
Location: Miami, Florida
ON CAMERA
"Hello. My name is Andrew Myers," I say, into the camera pointed at me. I know it was a very basic introduction, but I can't really think of another way to start this. I'm so nervous right now. I've trained for years, honing my craft, but I've never been in front of a camera like this, before. I don't know what I should say. Do I say what I think they want me to say? If so, what do I think that is? How long do I talk for? I don't know. Oh well, here goes nothing.
"I'm - uhh - I'm new to this. Not wrestling, no. I've done that for years. I'm new to being on camera. It's a pretty interesting experience, to say the least. As some of you may be aware, I'm FGA's newest signing. I've spent my life wanting this, ya know? Competition. Training and actually competing are two entirely different things. It's crazy to know that I'm going to be competing in something I've loved for so long soon. I know it won't be easy. I mean, my first match is the Gold Rush Rumble, where the winner goes on to face the FGA World Champion. I've got a lot of other wrestlers to go through in my debut match, but the prize is huge. I could be one of the quickest wrestlers to ever win the FGA World Championship. But, look, I'm a realist. I have faith in my abilities, but I know the chances of me winning the Gold Rush Rumble are slim to none. Does that mean I'm not going to give it my all? Hell no. I'm going to go out there and fight until I can't fight anymore. I guarantee, win or lose; I'm going to be talked about." At least, I hope I will.
"I've trained with the best of them, even including a former Mid Atlantic Legacy Champion here. I may not know much about the pageantry and the lights and all of that, but I do know wrestling. I know the holds, the throws, the jumps, the strikes, everything. I may be a rookie to the spectacle, but I'm a veteran to the action. I'm a fighter. Always have been, always will be. I've fought my ass off to get here and I'm going to fight my ass off some more to stay here." This is going well, I think. On the inside, it's like there's a knife in my gut, but on the outside, I'm calm, cool and collected. Huh. Maybe I do have what it takes here. "I've been watching FGA for some time now. I know what I'm getting into at Glory Road. Just look at some of the names in this match. Dom Harter, Cordy Stevenson, Tony Carmine, Cyncity ... Annie Zellor ... Sean Sands ..." Fuck, this is going to be hard. Maybe I can't do this. Maybe Jim was right. Maybe it was foolish of me to think I could live my dream.
"I'll be honest, here. I'm a nervous wreck right now. This is my debut match and I'm up against some of the best names this industry has ever seen. What's worse is all it takes is one mistake. One small fuck up and I'm over that top rope, on my ass on the floor. So, you combine that fact with the fact that I'm facing the best competition in the world and just ... I don't know. I'm trying to maintain my composure, here. I want you all to look at me as this confident guy and, to be honest, I am confident in my abilities, but I'm still horribly anxious. I just keep thinking what if I'm thrown out in a few seconds? What if I don't even have a decent showing? Will I be fired? Will I even want to show my face in a wrestling ring again? I don't handle embarrassment well, but I know there will be times when I am embarrassed. There will be matches I don't win. There will be wrestlers that outshine me. I just don't know if I'm ready to deal with that."
Maybe I'm not. Could this all be a mistake? Maybe my six years of training was all for nothing. Fuck. That can't be true. It just can't. I was born to do this. I'm a wrestler, it's just who I am. Even if I wanted to be something else, I couldn't, because this is where I belong.
"You know what? I am ready. My whole life has been one huge disappointment after another. I've dealt with so much bullshit you wouldn't believe it. But now - now I have a chance to finally make something out of myself. I can do it. I can live the dream. Yeah, my debut is going to be tough, but it's also going to be a test - a test that I'm damn sure going to pass. Call it arrogance or call it confidence, I'm going into Glory Road and I'll be damned if I don't leave a lasting impression on this company. For once in my life, I'm where I belong. I'm surrounded by talent and a wrestling ring, just the way I like it. So no, my chances of winning aren't good. And no, I don't care. I'm here to wrestle and that's what I'm going to do. Win or lose, tonight is the beginning of my legacy and I don't intend to go down without a fight. Let's fucking do this!"
Here we go. That's more like it. Fuck yeah! I'm ready. Let's start my career the right way. Time to shine.
