Just seeing if anyone could give me some feedback on my
Memory Lane roleplay...
I felt as if wasn't too bad a little more into Xavier's past, but I'd like your thoughts and I was hoping if anyone could give me some pointers on the monologue part at the end of my roleplay. Because I feel like I am weak in that department and it is something that I feel will defiantly result in me losing matches in the future.
Hope to get some feedback positive or negative.
Hey there. I'm going to deviate from my normal feedback, so that I can try to give you some tips on Shooting. These are things that I do when shooting, so don't view them as the gospel or anything k.
Tips to help with Shooting as a Face:
-I've always found shooting as a face a bit more difficult. As a heel, you can essentially say whatever you'd like and make it work, as long as it's compelling. As a (true) face, you definitely can not say whatever you want.
-Daniels is a foreign star. You talk about this a bit in your CD's, but it is something that can also be incorporated in your shoot part. Your character has wrestled in the UK and in Japan, which means he has different experiences than some of the wrestlers here. And, because of those experiences, he may also have a different outlook on wrestling as a whole.
-I kind of view a shoot as "a story within a story." Your shoot is a portion of the entire RP; but it can also stand alone. So, I write a shoot kind of how you'd write a normal story. Usually, I do some type of lead in: this might be a recap of what Riley's done in FGA, or something that he's experienced that connects to this upcoming match. After that I'll get into the meat of the shoot-my opponent. There are many ways to handle this part. You could compare and contrast, you could talk about all the negative stuff that your opponent has done; or, you might simply talk about why your characters wants to win this match more than the other guy. After all of that, i try to wrap things up with a conclusion.
-A good face takes time to develop. You got to figure out what makes him different or special from all the other faces. You do this by CD and just having matches. Once your character is fully developed in your mind, CD and shooting as a whole will become second nature.
-It might be helpful if you tried writing your shoot first every once in a while. I can tell that CD (for Daniels anyway) comes pretty natural to you. Writing your shoot first might challenge you to rise a bit higher.
-Turn up! I'm not sure what your writing process is, but putting on some music can really help you out. I like to use metal when writing Riley's shoots. Put those headphones and just start writing; you might find things flow a bit easier.
-Sell Sell SELL! Your job as a face is to sell. In a shoot trying hyping up yourself, but also hype up that opponent, even if he or she is a heel.
-Experiment a bit. If you've been efedding for a couple years, you are probably very comfortable in your writing process and style. But, it doesn't hurt to try something knew every once in a while. Sometimes it will work, sometimes it will fail. But, it shows the reader and management that you trying to improve/get better.
Shoot critique:*I'm going to post a couple your shoot sections here. Underneath I'm going to comment and tell you a couple of things you could have added to beef things up a bit k.
-What were some of those good and bad experiences. If they were wrestling related, list them. Maybe Daniels had a couple of memorable indie matches in White Plains; or maybe he got screwed over. Doesn't matter-list them! Remember, a face is some that connects with the audience; he's allowed to be a bit vulnerable. So, open up a bit lol.
-Here, you did sell Hardaway, but it was a bit generic. Hardaway has long history here in FGA. So, you could have talked about some of that; talk about how dominate his been, how he has held titles here in FGA.
-You did a bit of compare/contrast, but you could have gone into more depth. Why didn't Daniels attitude go over well? What happened? Who had a problem? Did the fans have a problem, or was it the other wrestlers and management?
-Here, I might ad a bit of what Daniels has experienced in Japan. Hardaway is one hell or an opponent; BUT, Daniels isn't a rookie. He's had some experience and he is battle tested. Talk about that! Talk about some of those battles in Japan against tough opponents; show the reader/audience that Daniels has heart.
-Here, you show that Daniels is knowledgeable about Kevin's past (GWC); show a bit of that knowledge.
-Here, you are selling Daniels a bit short in my opinion. Maybe this is hardest fight to date. Maybe here you might outline a small battle plan. Or, again, you might talk about how much heart you have. You sold Hardaway with those two sentences; but you haven't done anything for yourself.
Conclusion:
-Well, I hope this helped out a bit. These are just my thoughts; you know, things that I've learned while playing as a face. It's not a definitive list by any means. Let me know if you need any other help.
Peace!
