Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2013 22:09:14 GMT -5
|
|
SMWB
Making Waves
Posts: 59
|
Post by SMWB on Dec 10, 2013 16:39:50 GMT -5
I thoroughly enjoyed it. It wasn't bad for someone playing a face for the first time. Hopefully it's a sign of things to come.
|
|
Bondo
Headliner
A clever Crow always paints it's feathers black
Posts: 534
|
Post by Bondo on Dec 10, 2013 18:44:34 GMT -5
It wasn't too shabby. I think you're over explaining your character here; gotta give us something too look forward to in future RPs. So far I know he's an ex-junkie turned wrestler. Fighting for (possible) moral redemption and redemption in the eyes of his kid, whom he's afraid of losing. He's a newb, who's going to have issues as soon as he comes up with his first loss. It'll be interesting to see if he returns to a life of drugs after a first loss or a string of potential losses. Also if the roadlife starts to get to him. Possibilities! Overall a good read. A few gramatical errors, like a couple words missing. Nothing that causes it not to make sense. My brain automatically filled them in in their respective sentences. Side-note: Ex-junkie?! Dude. Get off my shtick!  Also: Your banner. I see it, and I immediately think: CELEBRATE! Good job though. I didn't sense a real trouble with face. Your character will never be complete face because of his past, but it plays a super good neutral-alligned face townie (MAFIA REFERENCE?!) |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 17:09:47 GMT -5
Lmfao, and thanks to the two of you. and yeah I have a lot more planned out for him. On a side, still looking for nick names to be given XD haha. And with the errors, I have a problem with that, I have no idea why.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2013 23:19:14 GMT -5
Being a face is hard. It sucks sometimes.
I think you got the part down. As a good heel, you already kind of know what to do with a face: the opposite of what you've done so far.
|
|
