Debut Feedback

[Deleted]

I was wanting to know what you guys thought about my debut for FGA. I decided to throw in some of his past to give you guys a little something about him. But here is the link.

fgawrestling.proboards.com/thread/2787/walking-line

All kinds of feedback is welcomed. 

[Deleted]

I thought it was nice.  It was simplistic but easy to read which is essential.  A detailed roleplay is always nice but it means nothing if it drags and I felt that this roleplay really did not drag.  Also it seemed to fit the character based on the other rps I have read that you posted in UWL.  Looking forward to starting work on my rp.  Already got the outline done, finally. 

note: also I thought it was very wise that there was no over emphasis on the Islamic aspect of the character.  I was kind of hoping you would come after that part.  Not going after it was very smart, I was ready for that.

I have a shakespeare midterm to study for but I will work on my rp tomorrow.  And get it up as soon as possible.  Been a long week between the eid for Hajj and my wife being sick but things are back on track now.  See ya soon

[Deleted]

Thanks man. It's been awhile for me since I RP'ed, haha. But looking forward to what you put out man. Lets have fun and tear the damn roof off, even though we in a dark match

[Deleted]

Two minor details:
1) You are = you're
2) We don't have PPVs, we have Supershows.

But those are, as I said, minor issues and I'm nitpicking.

It's a solid intro piece, nice dash of history and a build up of Troy's past but I have two questions (bearing in mind I can't remember your bio).

1) Why would someone who can afford a mansion in Tennessee and a beach front property want to work for the FGA?
2) Is Troy a face or a heel?

That's what I'm thinking after I read it. But it's very good writing and I'll get back to you in a few shows after I've hopefully got to know the character a bit more.