Vinny
Headliner
Posts: 683
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Post by Vinny on Oct 11, 2013 10:09:11 GMT -5
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Post by shaunsindelman on Oct 11, 2013 12:04:19 GMT -5
I may be going about this wrong but hey, I'm the first and will learn from others if need be...I decided to read the full compendium of Dom Harter RPs and CDs for the first time back to back to get the full story on where he started in FGA to where he is now including the backstory serial of "Elsie Webster". Of course, I'm also looking at this with the foresight of what he will become which you may notice in my notes below. I read them one by one leaving myself notes and thoughts as I went along so pardon if there are questions I ask that eventually get answered but imagine what the reader must've been thinking as they read this in realtime when they were being posted.
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* In "Getting Knocked Down", I really liked how we get the backstory on what possibly made Dom Harter the SOB that he would become over time in FGA. The past transgressions and his time spent in a detention facility truly make sense to have shaped his psyche. Also, if not for the fact this is a year prior, I wish it was Malcolm Drake in the car at the end but the dad was a nice touch to put Harter TRULY at his lowest.
* In S01E01...I felt Harter was not yet at his evil-ish ways but rather impressionable to the demonic Malcolm Drake. Especially in the way he came across almost face-like wanting to prove something to Leon Corella who sounded like the heel in the scenario (if only because the handler probably acted like such both IC and OOC). And with the CD portion, I even felt like Harter really could've came into FGA from a good place but somewhere along the line, something happened that led him to the state he is in.
* And then we get to S01E02 where we start to think that Dom Harter might've killed some girl over a year prior. Behavior one would usually associate with Johnny Blayze but whatever. *grin* I also liked the verbal imagery crafted with all the references to crows (picking at carcasses, talons). The most interesting part of this RP was the complete opposite approach to attacking Corella verbally from S01E01.
* S01E03....our first glance at Dom Harter placing Malcolm Drake on a pedestal. Great line knowing what we know now - "three on two doesn’t bother us. A numerical advantage doesn’t bother us … there are ways to fix that." I must say it's very intriguing to see through the flashback CD portions of these RPS what Dom Harter was like before he found himself in FGA. It'll be equally intriguing to see where things go in his life that would result in the a**hole we know and love today.
* S01E04 brought us the possible catalyst for Dom's mean streak -- being the brunt of a bad bad joke and watching the girl he crushed on prefer the company of another. A feat that will haunt him down the line as it would be HE who preferred another's company over his own girlfriend, Heather Haliwell. Touche. Unfortunately, the shoot portion was about some activity Dom was involved in outside of FGA so we'll gloss over that. Then there's a glance inside of Dom Harter's minglings with the opposite sex and we clearly see he has not learned much of anything from his past mistakes as he once again strikes out causing a female to find her need for loving elsewhere. I must say that Elsie may have screwed him up for life that fateful night of Sammy's birthday.
* The thing I enjoyed about S01E05 was the story that Harter told about the Tiger. It was nice to see someone telling a story that didn't involve an old man and a snake just to prove a point. And now the pieces come together that somewhere in the Summer of 2012, Elsie Webster went missing. So as a reader, I have to wonder what happens between November of 2011 and the Summer of 2012 that would result in Dom Harter possibly being the culprit.
* And in S01E06, we start to see that maybe it was the boyfriend of Else who could be the culprit. So is it possible that Dom Harter did something to save Elsie and it caused him to become the sick bastard that he is today? Then with the shoot, I find it peculiar that Dom Harter's demeanor changes when he is faced with having to compete against the likes of Heather Haliwell opposed to when he has to face a male competitor in FGA. As if the female touch somehow shirks away that cruel exterior that Malcolm Drake expects of his Murder compadre.
* S01E07 - And a new player arrives on the scene in this mystery woman. Is she the one that Dom wanted to call last time? Hmm... And once again, I LOVE the slight "crow-isms" that Harter uses in his promos (ie. "cawing at me"). It's intriguing to see how Harter speaks of a female such as O'Hare in an awful manner when we've seen him speak of other women in higher tones. It's as if the power of The Murder changes his demeanor when in the clutches of battle alongside Drake and when he is involved in his sole endeavors, he acts differently. And Harter finally gets "in" with Elsie....so this is February which means she disappears approximately 4 months from now. What happens? WHAT HAPPENS?!?
* Which brings us to S01E08 where we see that Dom is now a sap again for a girl. Very UN-Murder like behavior. Whatever will Malcolm think of this? And just who is this mystery friend of Harter's that he meets at the diner? And I still wonder if it was her or Heather who Dom wanted to call awhiles back?
* Man... in S01E09, I'm starting to think that Elsie isn't dead but rather that the raven haired woman IS Elsie who suffered some sort of amnesia and Dom is taking advantage of it. Ooo he IS a bastard.
* S01E10 - Two, three months into his relationship with Elsie and what do we see? A little growing pains maybe. And now we get a little history on just how Dom and Malcolm became acquaintances....all thanks to Bob Pooler. In hindsight, it's as if fate intended for those three to eventually become The Murderous Trio we see today.
* S01E11 - For the first time, Harter admits he is a follower of Malcolm Drake and not an equal. Yet this is something he probably won't admit in an FGA promo. Man, Heather Haliwell has turned Harter into a softie...a crow does not fight for another's honor. He is a scavenger. Man up, Dom! And then we start to get some of the answers...or do we? One would think Elsie is no more but I still believe there's more to that story than what is known at the moment. Is Arthur Webster the new culprit suspect? In my mind, he could be...if only because he drove Dom Harter to do something he wishes he did not. And THAT is the catalyst for Harter's current state of evil mindedness.
* And in Ep 12, we get another glimpse into what the young Dom Harter was like back when he was in Simcoe. His goody two shoes routine a clear opposite to the bastard he is now. And he does his first bastard like act in May of 2012 as he acts like a douchecanoee to Elsie. Damn you, Dom...how dare you hit a woman. Is that what you went back to in your head whenever you dealt with O'Hare in FGA? If only Heather knew about that time in your life. I did like the fact all three portions of this centered on drinking - the past of Chris Bond tied in with the past actions of Harter which tied in with the awful hangover of present day Harter. Clearly we see why Dom is not much of a drinker.
* Ep 13 - I enjoyed finally seeing some interaction between Dom and Malcolm Drake. It was good to see the leader of The Murder philosophizing to his younger student, if you will. I also thought the part with Drake mocking Dom's relationship was nice to show that matters of the heart do not agree in the mind of the "Godkiller". If Dom hadn't screwed the relationship up himself, I always thought Drake holding Heather hostage and forcing Harter to choose between her and The Murder would've been a nice touch. I found it interesting that Harters biggest gripe with Jon Collins was being forced into a match against Heather Haliwell over all the other misgreivances that Collins perpetrated against him. Clearly the softer side of Harter with his matters of the heart still outweighs the prospects of title belts. Oooo...the raven haired female is a hooker, is she? I still think she might be Elsie...not giving up on that hunch yet.
* Ep 14 - The thing I am enjoying about these backstory CDs are that we get to see a good hard glimpse into what trials and tribulations Dom Harter went through on the wrestling circuit before he signed with FGA. Not alot of people delve this deep into things especially the bad tryouts and the time spent at the wrestling academy. And the scene between the detective and Harter makes me really interested to figure out what Dom knows that the PI does not.
* Ep 15 - Ha! I knew Arthur Webster was bad news. That bastard tried to pin this disappearance of his daughter on Dom Harter but we all know HE is the true culprit. OMG am I actually rooting for Harter in a present day situation? *checks for pigs flying* Nice move, Benny.
* And now Season 2 starts with Harter getting really down on himself about Elsie leaving him. Really makes me think that Malcolm obviously filled the hole in his heart or simply turned a guy who was already in a downward spiral into a madman.
* Knowing how things end between Dom and Heather, I still think it should've been Malcolm who drove the wedge between them instead of Rockin' Riley. Heather's jealousy of Harter's partner is classic throughout Season 2.
* Another touch I like is the fact that Harter now has the PI working for him to track down Arthur Webster. Maybe he should use the detective to track down Elsie's whereabouts. And what ever happened to that raven haired prostitute that Dom clearly chose for her uncanny resemblance to Elsie? Hmm... (I wrote this note and then a paragraph later she appeared - amazing).
* Heather Haliwell now out of his life....Dom Harter is more dangerous than ever. I pity the victims before him.
* Ep 8 - Hah...I knew it. I knew Dom was keeping the hooker around for her resemblance to Elsie. But who's the email from that the detective received? Ah...the plot thickens.
* Eh...just a notice that Arthur Webster used his credit card in the CA/NV region. Not quite what I was hoping for. But aside from that, we hear Harter finally admit what I've been thinking all along -- that Malcolm got into his head about Heather (and probably all females in general) making him soft and weak as a competitor.
* And finally we see Harter ready to strike at Tryon and so consumed with what had happened to him (the assault charge and all) that he forgets to inquire about Elsie and Arthur Webster. Is it possible that his mind has drifted away from the matter to the point of disregard? Has his transformation to a total bastard been completed?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2013 22:04:35 GMT -5
The Murder, like many heel stables, relies on the viciousness of blatant abuse of their strength in numbers, as well as the detrimental factors of personal head games. However, it is rare that you ever get a glimpse into the minds of those who would devise such intricate plans to break a person down in order to destroy them...first mentally, then physically with the end result being defeat in the ring.
With Dom Harter, you get the exact opposite.
I might not have read enough into the RP archives, but as of this writing I'm not sure why Dom chooses to align with a group like the Murder. But I have red his biographies, and interacted with him in-character on Twitter often. I don't find Dom Harter to be someone who belongs in the same group as these other monsters, if you will. I see him as brash, cocky, and immature at times. But I don't see him as being totally evil. I see him as doing what he has to do in order to acheive what he sees as his goal, which is the same overall goal that any e-fedding character should have regardless of motive or plans after acheiving said goal - success within the fed one is participating in, either through winning RPed matches or acclamation through angled stories. Either way, your character is in a wrestling promotion and whether he's there to win matches, beat people up, win a title, get revenge on another wrestler - it all should tie into wrestling one way or another. A lot of heels these days in e-fedding struggle with that.
Dom Harter is a refreshing concept into the mind of a heel...so refreshing that at times, I often forget that he is a heel both in and out of character.
Maybe I'm just saying that I'd like to know how someone who looks like he started out all right decided to jump on board with the group he did. Again, I might not be familiar enough with the FGA archives. I'm only basing this off the last 2-3 RPs and the segments in the last few shows, plus the Twitter interactions I've had with him and see on his feed with others.
But what I see is a different type of heel, one that makes for a unique approach for a face. I love Dom, no homo, and I'm curious to see what he'll do now that he's seemingly got Chris Tryon off his back.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2013 8:16:55 GMT -5
I might not have read enough into the RP archives, but as of this writing I'm not sure why Dom chooses to align with a group like the Murder. But I have red his biographies, and interacted with him in-character on Twitter often. I don't find Dom Harter to be someone who belongs in the same group as these other monsters, if you will. I see him as brash, cocky, and immature at times. But I don't see him as being totally evil. I see him as doing what he has to do in order to acheive what he sees as his goal, which is the same overall goal that any e-fedding character should have regardless of motive or plans after acheiving said goal - success within the fed one is participating in, either through winning RPed matches or acclamation through angled stories. Either way, your character is in a wrestling promotion and whether he's there to win matches, beat people up, win a title, get revenge on another wrestler - it all should tie into wrestling one way or another. A lot of heels these days in e-fedding struggle with that. Those four rps should hopefully show Dom at his lowest ebb and how he stumbled across Malcolm. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2013 8:30:23 GMT -5
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Vinny
Headliner
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Post by Vinny on Oct 13, 2013 11:21:31 GMT -5
Updated the original post with Ben's selections. Interesting write-ups/perspectives so far, guys.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2013 15:59:36 GMT -5
I didn't wish to dictate which rps people should read, that was just answering Madman's query.
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Bondo
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A clever Crow always paints it's feathers black
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Post by Bondo on Oct 15, 2013 13:58:27 GMT -5
Just a quick note, I haven't forgotten about these. I've been dealing with an allergic reaction from meds I was on so I'm still trying to get caught up, and come about the things I'd like to say. I haven't read anything anyone else has written (aside from Ben) to keep my opinions my own.
I just wanted to say I'm going to get to this real soon.
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Vinny
Headliner
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Post by Vinny on Oct 19, 2013 12:53:03 GMT -5
Character Study - Dom HarterFavorite RPsSeason 1 - S01E02. Brilliantly structured and brutally written. The Dom Harter here comes in stark contrast the Dom Harter from the flashbacks of Season 01. He's cutting, he's cold, he's mocking. Even as you figure out where his story is building you still feel the sting of the words "Is that what you feel like, Corella?" S01E12. A great RP against Bond and one of the best CD bits with Elsie. We see Dom's inherent goodness, but also his ability to slip. To break bad. The line between the two is as thin a tenuous as the one that divides the first half of the RP from the second. Season 2 - S02E01. This is Dom's turning point. His first encounter with Drake and the moment where he makes the willing decision to "break bad." The fact that it is also intertwined with a great shoot on Chris Q and a sombering denouement to the Elsie story only makes this stand out even more. S02E06. Every so often you throw in one of these RPs that shows that, deep down, some of the real Dom Harter still exists. He may be too far gone down the wrong path at this point, but there are parts of him that are still there. The interaction with Georgie Nickels shows this, and plays well in contrast to the bravado and gloating of the shoot. Favorite SegmentColumbus DVD Taping. This segment encapsulates all of Harter's character flaws into a singular, starkly violent moment. We see his short temper, his rampant ego, his need to feel respected, his need to feel superior to someone. Harter's inferiority complex manifests itself in multiple ways, but I find it most intriguing when it comes across violently. This is perfectly intertwined with its other manifestation: blind subservience to Malcolm Drake. Drake takes no part in the violence of this segment, which is a topic for another time, but having Drake force Tiffany Michaels to watch as Pooler and Harter attack Tryon works brilliantly for Harter. He wordlessly scream "See? See?! I'm better than this man. I am better than this thing that you love. Your love is misplaced. Your life is a lie." And it becomes especially poignant when you consider that despite their multitude of personally flaws, Tryon and Michaels seem to actually care about each other. When you contrast that with Harter's myriad of failed relationships, the imagery of forcing Michaels to watch Tryon get injured is magnified. The subtlety hidden within a very unsubtle segment. Character Analysis
Dom Harter is a little like Walter White. How does a kid with a supportive family, financial means, and the freedom to pursue his dream "break bad?" If I had to answer that question with one word it would be: control. Harter yearns for control. What he believes he wants is freedom, but ultimately Harter needs a path in life drawn up for him. He is, in every way, shape and form, a Millennial. Harter thinks he was freedom when his folks pay for his apartment, he thinks he has freedom when pursues his passion as a wrestler, he thinks he finds freedom in Elsie (and subsequently Heather and the others). Harter wants control over his life, but sooner or later he realizes that his "control," his "freedom" is a thin facade. Everything that happens with Elsie shows how little control he has; he tries to contain the situation but it continues to spiral away from him. His pursuit of wrestling is derailed when he sees Drake in the ring, dismantling a rookie. Two things happen in that moment: one, he realizes that he doesn't have control in the ring and two, Drake does. This is where Harter's diametrically opposed goals of control and freedom intersect. He wants that kind of freedom from care that Drake has, but in order to attain it he falls under Drake's control. Harter, like a lot of young men, has never been prepared for things not to go his way. Helicopter parents, safety nets, "the path." These are the "tools" that are given to Millennials, and then they are sent into a world they are grossly unprepared for. Most whine on Twitter (which Dom does a fair deal of) but Dom also seeks to lash out. He's supposed to have what he wants, he's supposed to be recognized as a beautiful and unique snowflake. People are supposed to fawn over him, they're supposed to litter him with championships and trophies. Drake and Harter personify this disenfranchisement of a generation in its worst, most violent form. "We were promised something that was not delivered to us. Now, we will take it." But unlike Drake, Harter is deep in his core still a good guy. You see it in his personal relationships. This is what makes the story of Dom Harter all the more tragic. Here is a good guy who has made the choice to be bad. And to return to the Walter White comparison, he frequently sacrifices those personal relationships in the pursuit of control and freedom. CriticismsMy only criticism of Dom Harter is that he has so much going on. Ben, I can't imagine how you keep track of it all without being exhausted. The intertwining of multiple storylines from multiple promotions, it's hard for me to follow but I can only imagine how much harder it is for you to keep it all straight. The only issue with Harter - and it isn't really much of one - is the high barrier to entry. It takes a lot of reading and a lot of analysis to understand who Dom Harter is. He's not a black and white character. He is multiple (say 50) shades of grey. Your writing - as always - is top notch. I love the stories you tell, both in and out of the wrestling sphere. Keep it up, man.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2013 17:42:16 GMT -5
Favorite RPsSeason 1 - S01E02. Brilliantly structured and brutally written. The Dom Harter here comes in stark contrast the Dom Harter from the flashbacks of Season 01. He's cutting, he's cold, he's mocking. Even as you figure out where his story is building you still feel the sting of the words "Is that what you feel like, Corella?" In reference to this rp and the seemingly random reference ... I kinda messed up later in the story. The park he visited was supposed to be the place where Elsie told him about her own personal daddy's abuse, which I forgot when I eventually got round to writing that rp, and had her confess in the apartment. So I was trying to set locations that meant something, like when Dom was behind the Boulevard Diner, it's because Elsie worked there. When he was in an alley, it's because it reminds him of Elsie. He went to the park that night because it was supposed to bring back dark memories, which he needed to be cold and mocking. Oops. Also, did you note that the dark grey Taurus that sped by just so happens to be the same colour and model car that Gerard McDonough drives?  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2013 18:17:16 GMT -5
* I wish it was Malcolm Drake in the car at the end but the dad was a nice touch to put Harter TRULY at his lowest. I did this to show Dom's growing dependency on his parents, plus the fact he hasn't met Malcolm at that point. Vinny and I agreed when we started this that we'd have our characters meet in July/August 2012, so I gave myself some time to build up an image of what Dom was like before Malcolm came along. * In S01E01...I felt Harter was not yet at his evil-ish ways but rather impressionable to the demonic Malcolm Drake. Especially in the way he came across almost face-like wanting to prove something to Leon Corella who sounded like the heel in the scenario. Yeah, my bad. At this point I hadn't written a heel character in about eighteen months, so I was a little rusty. * S01E04 brought us the possible catalyst for Dom's mean streak -- being the brunt of a bad bad joke and watching the girl he crushed on prefer the company of another. A feat that will haunt him down the line as it would be HE who preferred another's company over his own girlfriend, Heather Haliwell. Touche. Then there's a glance inside of Dom Harter's minglings with the opposite sex and we clearly see he has not learned much of anything from his past mistakes as he once again strikes out causing a female to find her need for loving elsewhere. I must say that Elsie may have screwed him up for life that fateful night of Sammy's birthday. As John and maybe Vinny will attest to, failed relationships are a recurring theme in damn near all of my characters (can't imagine why  ) but thank you for picking up on it. * The thing I enjoyed about S01E05 was the story that Harter told about the Tiger. It was nice to see someone telling a story that didn't involve an old man and a snake just to prove a point. I had just read Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman and got inspired. But if it's fresh  * Which brings us to S01E08 where we see that Dom is now a sap again for a girl. Very UN-Murder like behavior. Whatever will Malcolm think of this? And just who is this mystery friend of Harter's that he meets at the diner? And I still wonder if it was her or Heather who Dom wanted to call awhiles back? * Man... in S01E09, I'm starting to think that Elsie isn't dead but rather that the raven haired woman IS Elsie who suffered some sort of amnesia and Dom is taking advantage of it. Ooo he IS a bastard. Picking up on these...I'm not sure if any of you are that familiar with my character 'The Metal Heart' Ben Hanson outside of what I did here in FGA. But another recurring theme in my writing is the use of substitutes and the transference of affection. If that makes sense. Ben did it with his girlfriend Dianna, who was a doppelganger for his former fiancé, Joelle. And I used the same thing here for the acquaintance being a lookalike to Elsie. They aren't the same person, which is why the acquaintance is shocked when Gerard shows her the photo. Also, it was her that Dom was going to call because he sees her as his one link back to Elsie, who he loves very much. As I ended up spinning it later down the road, Dom never really liked talking to Heather, nor confiding in her. Hell, Heather never learned about Elsie. And this goes into S01E11 too, where you mention Dom being a sap. As I put it in my SCW app recently, Dom isn't a dark person. He isn't cruel or malicious by his own choosing. He is a person without a discernable personality. He will be a crow with Malcolm and Bob, he will be soft when talking to his girlfriend or his acquaintance, a bro when tweeting with Gordon, Dan or Josh, a fanboy when talking to Aurora Jansen or Georgie Nickles etc. So what I'm trying to do with the off camera segments here is to show the full extent of Malcolm's influence over Dom and how it is the domineering force in his life. * Ep 13 - I enjoyed finally seeing some interaction between Dom and Malcolm Drake. I found it interesting that Harters biggest gripe with Jon Collins was being forced into a match against Heather Haliwell over all the other misgreivances that Collins perpetrated against him. Harter's biggest gripe with Collins was he was a hypocrite, demonising Dom for the exact same sort of crimes that Jon himself was guilty of. * Ep 15 - Ha! I knew Arthur Webster was bad news. That bastard tried to pin this disappearance of his daughter on Dom Harter but we all know HE is the true culprit. OMG am I actually rooting for Harter in a present day situation? *checks for pigs flying* Nice move, Benny. Like when Stephen was reading the PDW segment, I try to write a sympathetic heel. * Knowing how things end between Dom and Heather, I still think it should've been Malcolm who drove the wedge between them instead of Rockin' Riley. Long story... * Ep 8 - But who's the email from that the detective received? Ah...the plot thickens. STAY TUNED! * Eh...just a notice that Arthur Webster used his credit card in the CA/NV region. Not quite what I was hoping for. May I ask what you were hoping for? |
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Post by shaunsindelman on Oct 19, 2013 18:28:24 GMT -5
1. I totally get why it was the dad now...that comment was based on me reading them with a fresh mindset. Mainly wanting Dom and Malcolm to meet at every turn. I loved the buildup of Dom's image before Drake came along -- makes the transformation to "2nd Crow in Charge" all the more effective. 2. Don't apologize -- Corella deserved the tongue lashing. 3. Nice explanation behind the doppelganger and what Dom is like away from Drake 4. Not sure what I was hoping for with the email - probably something a little more sinister about Arthur. I look forward to reading further CDs to see where things go in Season 2 of "As The Crow Caws" =D * I wish it was Malcolm Drake in the car at the end but the dad was a nice touch to put Harter TRULY at his lowest. I did this to show Dom's growing dependency on his parents, plus the fact he hasn't met Malcolm at that point. Vinny and I agreed when we started this that we'd have our characters meet in July/August 2012, so I gave myself some time to build up an image of what Dom was like before Malcolm came along. * In S01E01...I felt Harter was not yet at his evil-ish ways but rather impressionable to the demonic Malcolm Drake. Especially in the way he came across almost face-like wanting to prove something to Leon Corella who sounded like the heel in the scenario. Yeah, my bad. At this point I hadn't written a heel character in about eighteen months, so I was a little rusty. * S01E04 brought us the possible catalyst for Dom's mean streak -- being the brunt of a bad bad joke and watching the girl he crushed on prefer the company of another. A feat that will haunt him down the line as it would be HE who preferred another's company over his own girlfriend, Heather Haliwell. Touche. Then there's a glance inside of Dom Harter's minglings with the opposite sex and we clearly see he has not learned much of anything from his past mistakes as he once again strikes out causing a female to find her need for loving elsewhere. I must say that Elsie may have screwed him up for life that fateful night of Sammy's birthday. As John and maybe Vinny will attest to, failed relationships are a recurring theme in damn near all of my characters (can't imagine why ) but thank you for picking up on it. * The thing I enjoyed about S01E05 was the story that Harter told about the Tiger. It was nice to see someone telling a story that didn't involve an old man and a snake just to prove a point. I had just read Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman and got inspired. But if it's fresh * Which brings us to S01E08 where we see that Dom is now a sap again for a girl. Very UN-Murder like behavior. Whatever will Malcolm think of this? And just who is this mystery friend of Harter's that he meets at the diner? And I still wonder if it was her or Heather who Dom wanted to call awhiles back? * Man... in S01E09, I'm starting to think that Elsie isn't dead but rather that the raven haired woman IS Elsie who suffered some sort of amnesia and Dom is taking advantage of it. Ooo he IS a bastard. Picking up on these...I'm not sure if any of you are that familiar with my character 'The Metal Heart' Ben Hanson outside of what I did here in FGA. But another recurring theme in my writing is the use of substitutes and the transference of affection. If that makes sense. Ben did it with his girlfriend Dianna, who was a doppelganger for his former fiancé, Joelle. And I used the same thing here for the acquaintance being a lookalike to Elsie. They aren't the same person, which is why the acquaintance is shocked when Gerard shows her the photo. Also, it was her that Dom was going to call because he sees her as his one link back to Elsie, who he loves very much. As I ended up spinning it later down the road, Dom never really liked talking to Heather, nor confiding in her. Hell, Heather never learned about Elsie. And this goes into S01E11 too, where you mention Dom being a sap. As I put it in my SCW app recently, Dom isn't a dark person. He isn't cruel or malicious by his own choosing. He is a person without a discernable personality. He will be a crow with Malcolm and Bob, he will be soft when talking to his girlfriend or his acquaintance, a bro when tweeting with Gordon, Dan or Josh, a fanboy when talking to Aurora Jansen or Georgie Nickles etc. So what I'm trying to do with the off camera segments here is to show the full extent of Malcolm's influence over Dom and how it is the domineering force in his life. * Ep 13 - I enjoyed finally seeing some interaction between Dom and Malcolm Drake. I found it interesting that Harters biggest gripe with Jon Collins was being forced into a match against Heather Haliwell over all the other misgreivances that Collins perpetrated against him. Harter's biggest gripe with Collins was he was a hypocrite, demonising Dom for the exact same sort of crimes that Jon himself was guilty of. * Ep 15 - Ha! I knew Arthur Webster was bad news. That bastard tried to pin this disappearance of his daughter on Dom Harter but we all know HE is the true culprit. OMG am I actually rooting for Harter in a present day situation? *checks for pigs flying* Nice move, Benny. Like when Stephen was reading the PDW segment, I try to write a sympathetic heel. * Knowing how things end between Dom and Heather, I still think it should've been Malcolm who drove the wedge between them instead of Rockin' Riley. Long story... * Ep 8 - But who's the email from that the detective received? Ah...the plot thickens. STAY TUNED! * Eh...just a notice that Arthur Webster used his credit card in the CA/NV region. Not quite what I was hoping for. May I ask what you were hoping for? |
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styg
Established Name
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Post by styg on Oct 20, 2013 19:42:08 GMT -5
I read Dom as, more than anything else, a scared and troubled little boy. He's riddled with insecurities (and it seems, at times, feelings of unworthiness?) which he has severe trouble consciously admitting to himself. He also has absolutely no stability either externally or internally, and despite his self-possessed exterior, that terrifies him.
I don't think he's an inherently bad person; I think he's a very grey, very complex person who acts bad because that way he can blame his flaws on being "evil", instead of facing up to his weaknesses.
His attraction to Drake makes total sense to me - Drake is emotionally unshackled, in a way Dom wishes he could be. Drake represents validation for Dom's dark side, in that being around Drake reinforces his subconscious choice to indulge his "evil" rather than face his weakness. When Dom's away from Drake, those self-doubts start to seep back in, which means he gets even more defensive and short-tempered, which means he feels even more compelled to be with Drake...
Incidentally, I think that's part of his attraction to Heather, too; Dom and Heather are pretty similar, although Heather's indulgences are very different to Dom's, and I think each of them to some extent sees the other as the path they could have taken.
Disclaimer: This is just my interpretation of the character, please excuse me if I'm way off the mark!
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Chris Q
Headliner
The Big Bad of FGA
Posts: 473
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Post by Chris Q on Oct 20, 2013 20:29:14 GMT -5
Roleplay Comments:
The character development starts off strong in your first couple pieces. You include just enough bits of a story without dragging it on. Nicely done.
I wasn’t too blown away by the shoots against Corella, it seemed like you were still trying to establish Dom’s voice when addressing opponents.
“...the cameraman stops recording as he realises I have nothing left to say, just as the rain ceases to fall. And it is, at this very moment, that the leaden cloud that was blocking it out glides aside, allowing the moon to appear in the night sky. And to allow me the chance to bask in its glow once more.”
- That’s fucking poetry, brother. Doesn’t come off as cheesy or forced as it would for others.
“When I get to tear you apart piece by piece….”
“And I can go ahead and tear you apart, piece by piece.”
- I found in a couple promos that you repeat some of the trash talking. It’s a nitpicky thing, but that’s one of the reasons we ask for feedback. I found myself catching repetition a couple times in your work.
I can understand if some of the storylines get a little difficult to follow, especially if you miss or skip a promo. Sometimes the side story takes a little away from the heat of your match when you’re trying to balance both in a single RP.
There are a few inconsistencies in the way Dom talks about his success. In some instances, Dom acts like there is a lot he needs to do in order to leave his mark and legacy. Other times, you act like the victories and titles you’ve already won have already established Dom’s legacy. Is he a success at this point in his career or not? I read multiple perspectives in your work.
The arcs of your storylines are so well done. The slow drag of the Elsie story, the Heather stuff, the meeting Malcolm backstory. You pace it all perfectly and include just enough to push the story along, but not to make it a chore to read. I can confidently say, you’re the best I’ve ever read when it comes to this aspect of the game.
Overall Character Notes:
Emotion. Above all else, that’s what stands out to me about this character. Not only do you consistently include details about how every person in your writing is feeling, you change the overall tone of your writing to reflect that. I think this is your strongest trait as a writer. Everything in your RPs is always so believable because you write with such convincing emotion. Personally, this allows me to get to know your characters quickly, which is a very good thing.
Dom has proven to be an excellent character to write with such heavy emotion. He has so many layers. He’s a son, a lover, an athlete, an asshole and so much more. At times it seems like you’re trying to do too much with him, but at least you go through the trouble of explaining why Dom is saying or doing whatever it is.
Every once and while, I get a little confused by Dom’s level of maturity. I know this is something others have touched on before. At times, he sounds wise and his tone seems quite adult. At other times, when communicating with other characters especially, he can come across a little childish. Sometimes there’s an insult that falls flat or Dom’s participating in schoolyard bully tactics. Not a huge or constant issue.
When you first introduced the Harter character and after I read the first few promos, I was a little confused/concerned as to why this character is following Malcolm Drake and trying to be so much like him. I didn’t really buy it. At this point, now that we all know the type of person Dom is, it makes perfect sense. While he is tremendously talented, intelligent, and capable on his own, he is severally lacking in integrity or a moral compass. Not to say that Dom couldn’t potentially change his ways, but it seems like taking personal responsibility for anything is very low on Dom’s list.
Because I can tell you never like to reveal your entire hand, it is hard to say where I want Dom to go in the future. I’ve already imagined him breaking away from Drake and the Murder, turning face, and being very successful. But then I can also see that never happening and Dom remaining a nasty heel for the rest of his career. I don’t have any concerns about which route you will take, because I know you’ll spend the time and consideration to pull it off flawlessly. I’ll just enjoy the ride.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2013 19:17:44 GMT -5
OOC: I chose to write all of my character evaluations from an “In-Character” basis as an outsider to the business. Specifically, a psychologist. I wanted to take the idea to a more literal ideal, so it is more a character development. These will not really exceed 500 to 1000 words in general.PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION
WEST CHESTER PSYCHOLOGICAL Subject: Dom Harter Case No.: 001-FGA Building No.: Not Applicable Date of Evaluation: October 19, 2013 Date of Report: October 20, 2013 Evaluator: Stan Lee Cupp, Psy.D. PURPOSE: To create a psychological profile of the subject and analyze their overall character. ASSESSMENT PROCEDURES:Review previously presented promotional and other inter-personal material that presents the subject. Activities, speech, and how the subject responds on all levels are taken into account. BACKGROUND INFORMATION:Dom Harter is a professional wrestler who currently is a contracted employee of Frontier Grappling Arts. In his profession, he has achieved great status in being a former holder and current holder of the “FGA World Heavyweight Championship” and “FGA Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Champion” respectively. He is also a member of a group that refer to themselves collectively as “The Murder”. The subject is Canadian-born American citizen standing at a height of 6’ and body weight has been calculated as 235 pounds. He has a criminal background, being arrested for Assault. NARRATIVE OF EVALUATION:As someone with little knowledge of the professional wrestling business, I had to first educate myself in the terminology used amongst its practitioners and its rabid fan base. I, myself, am not a fan of this form of sport. However, my evaluation required additional knowledge. Professional wrestling, in itself, is a performance art. Not only does it require physical acumen, but also requires a fluid ability for improvisational and method acting. The subjects play a part in a storyline, or “feud”, where it usually contains a “baby face” and a “heel”. Baby faces, or “faces” in shorter reference, are your typical “do-gooder” within the storyline. A heel, which no shorter reference is provided, is your “evil-doer” within the storyline. Like some things in the world of human interactivity, it follows Newton’s Law. This form of performance is no exception even in the athletic portion. The subject seems to have not abandoned his criminal activity of assault, although degrees of it are considered non-punishable due to the nature of the profession the subject has chosen to enter. His first known appearance he attacked a subject that is referred to as “Junior”, assuming he is referencing either the victim’s birthing right as a second generation of family sharing a name or the victim’s actual given first name or an alias. He mentions an attack that had been attempted with fellow members of his group “The Murder”, but indicates it was thwarted. The subject presents extreme anger and an underlying pleasure within his statements, showing a degree of Sadism within his personality. The subject continues to display a pattern of criminal activity by making assaults against many more subjects over time, continuing to pursue destructive action against his victims. Whether he is alone or with his fellow compatriots within “The Murder”, the theme that I see within the subject is very simple: They pick apart their victims similar to a murder of crows. They instill a fear through the ideal of crows, as crows have been a symbol of fear for many of century. Also, crows pick at their meal. Arguably, you could state that the members of this group all similar to their symbolic avatar. The subject does show signs of a more acceptable, more “human” aspect to himself at times, as he has found and lost love in the forms it had chosen to appear as. However, as the ideal of “love” has its own twisted ways of developing and progressing, he has also been shunned by it. Such an act has the potential of further warping any subject, and it appears that it has made slight dents into the subject’s already questionable psyche. The subject also displays a need for attention, as determined he has achieved other major goals in other companies that also partake in this performance art. He has a very driven demeanor regarding these trinkets and verbal titles, seemingly wanting to obtain them no matter what the cost (as long as it does not affect him adversely). From what I have been able to study on the subject for a short amount of time, it is very blatant that the subject suffers from a moderate case of Sadism with a near hive-mind like mentality with his fellow colleagues within his team. The subject has a degree of selfishness and entitlement, choosing to use force and a degree of terrifying manipulation to achieve his ultimate goal. CONCLUSION AND SUGGESTED TREATMENT:The subject has a dictator-like stance in his actions, and is a danger to society if he were to be allowed to pursue his activities within the profession in open society. It does not appear as if he is acting, but finding a way to unleash his psychosis in a way that is questionably legal. I would suggest that the subject be confined in a certified mental institution for those with criminal intent. Further psychological review will be necessary to determine if simply interviews and counseling is the best option, or if medical science will need to be introduced as well.
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) but thank you for picking up on it.
