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Post by Jensen Banks on Sept 13, 2013 13:17:26 GMT -5
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Post by Jensen Banks on Sept 26, 2013 19:54:09 GMT -5
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Vinny
Headliner
Posts: 683
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Post by Vinny on Sept 27, 2013 13:51:42 GMT -5
I just read through it while at work (still there) so I can't give a full run-down but I will say I thought the shoot was very good. I skimmed most of the backstory stuff (I do that for most people on my first read through), so I can't comment there but I thought you did a good job of attacking Drake's primary weakness. Namely: he's an underachiever. I liked what you did with the "unfuckwithable" tag-line, though you had a typo in the first line of the second shoot section.
Which brings me to one criticism I had: the start-stop of backstory and shoot is really jarring. There's no transition. It's a quick snap from one to the other. To each their own style, but that's never been one I liked.
Overall good stuff, Spiro.
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Post by Jensen Banks on Oct 24, 2013 18:53:20 GMT -5
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