Blayze Feedback

[shaunsindelman]

Since everyone else is doing it, why not throw me a few words of criticism about Johnny Blayze's first RP here in FGA?

Disclaimer -- Blayze is somewhat of a "not so serious" character so keep that in mind when you read the "cliches" he throws down.

fgawrestling.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=rp1&action=display&thread=1585

[Deleted]

Blayze reminds me of, if Shelton Benjamin had a little charisma, and he was in the early to mid 90's WWF. Which is awesome. I loved it, personally.

[shaunsindelman]

New RP posted. Give me your thoughts people!

[shaunsindelman]

And another RP posted...come on people!

[Deleted]

I love Blayze's over the top character. I think it's great heel work. I feel like too many people play the sinister heel thing, and this is a fresh take. I love the promo's man.

[shaunsindelman]

Wait...you think he's a heel? Damn! No matter how hard I try, I guess I can't do a face character.

[Deleted]

Whoops! Sorry dude, Let me go back and read it again.. I may have confused you for my opponent

[shaunsindelman]

*bump*

[Deleted]

I like Blayze because I think that he sticks out in a good way here. Most of the roster here in FGA seems to be on the more serious side of things but Blayze is the opposite and as a reader it's refreshing to see. Keep up the good work, Shaun.

[Bondo]

After reading "Johnny Blayze-Live from Orlando, FL" my thoughts are...

--> I dig the character. He's entertaining. He can take a few shots at himself (IE: the "I'm not just spiked hair and spray tan" line you dropped), and still come across as having full faith in his abilities. He seems cocksure without seeming cocky, which is a huge draw for a fan favorite.

--> I felt like you addressed your match quite nicely. You took points from your opponent's promo and you came at him for that and much more. I felt like Blayze was annoyed at Chase's 'disinterest' in him. It was a good shoot-style promo, old-school for which I'm a student of.

--> I kinda wish there was some CD. I come from a style where you can have your shoot and your CD in the same RP and it's okay. I know some out there are completely old-school and are shoot-only, I'm fine with it. I see Blayze's tweets and I wanna see him in that mannerism in an RP. Now, I haven't gone back to check out to see if this was just a shoot RP and you do offer CD with your normal match RP's, but I felt like I'm kind of missing who Johnny Blayze really is. (Don't get me wrong, it was a strong RP. Like I said, I'm a sucker for some character-whoring.)

I'm going to go back and read some of your other works, but seriously man. There isn't anything really wrong with your stuff. It's entertaining. It's very face-friendly. Maybe go a little bit more in depth with some of your trash talk and add a little more description into your RPs, but overall, a very solid piece of writing. Keep it up, hombre. ;D

[Vinny]

I'm on my tablet so excuse the brevity and the lack on usual disclaimer.

I just read through all the Blayze RPs after going through this thread. Here's my thoughts:

- I like the idea of a not-so serious character who thinks he's God's gift to women. It's a gimmick with s lot of legs.

- My only problem is that in reading the RPs sequentially it seems like that sort of carefree attitude got lost. Blayze seems to be getting more and more serious.

- He also seems to be becoming more of a heel. He swears. A lot. He refers to women as "bitches," and his ladykiller gimmick seems to be edging more and more towards outright misogyny.

- There's not a lot of variety to the RPs. Blayze is always being shot from the waist up and there's not a lot of depth to his surroundings. He doesn't need to be a deep, multidimensional character, but it would help to give him some real surroundings or situations to interact with to avoid getting stale.

That's all I got so far. Sorry that I can't go into more depth, especially on the positives, because I think the character has a lot of potential.

- V

[shaunsindelman]

Yeah...I think my issue is that I always lean towards writing a heel so chances are Blayze will in time end up being a guy who gets more serious about what goes on in the ring.

And his misogyny is an unfortunate side effect of having to deal with a woman like Dani Tyler as his first opponent (and 3rd opponent as it seems they will fight again at PHE).

So don't be surprised if he becomes a typical "im gods gift to women who are really just bitches in the end' type of character...altho I will do my best to keep more of a playful spirit to him as well.

As for the surroundings, you're absolutely right and its something I will delve into in future RPs.

[Deleted]

Feb 10, 2013 18:21:19 GMT -5 shaunsindelman said:

Yeah...I think my issue is that I always lean towards writing a heel so chances are Blayze will in time end up being a guy who gets more serious about what goes on in the ring.

And his misogyny is an unfortunate side effect of having to deal with a woman like Dani Tyler as his first opponent (and 3rd opponent as it seems they will fight again at PHE).

So don't be surprised if he becomes a typical "im gods gift to women who are really just bitches in the end' type of character...altho I will do my best to keep more of a playful spirit to him as well.

As for the surroundings, you're absolutely right and its something I will delve into in future RPs.

A) Kick that habit of leaning heel if you intend on staying a face. It's nasty and undermines what you're trying to achieve. It's okay to take digs at people,, but give them their props and appreciate what they bring to the table.

B) Misogyny is such an ugly thing, unless its your gimmick. Then it's hilarious.

C) the bolded bit. Wouldn't he have to interact with another character in your rp if he was to become the stereotypical shtick. I mean, I haven't seen him with a lady friend, has anyone else? In fact. His hatred of Dani Tyler (a strong independent woman) and his overly friendly nature towards Pat and Ryan might be seen by some heels as overcompensation for something...just saying

What I mean is, maybe bring in another character and have Johnny interact and allow his ladykiller ways to show in an out of shoot scenario. We do keep kayfabe after all, right?

[Deleted]

This new one: much better!

[shaunsindelman]

Thanks...anything I can work on further for a 2nd RP down the line?

What can I possibly do for a CD segment? Like what would you like to see/know more about Blayze?