Malcolm Drake Feedback

[Vinny]

Lesson #1: Drink heavily.
Lesson #2: See Lesson #1.

[Vinny]

Monster

I will try to get feedback to everyone who has been asking for it. It's been crazy at work; which is when I usually get a lot of my reading done. So I will try to get through some of the RPs I've missed this weekend and feed y'all.

In the meantime, if anyone has any thoughts on "Monster," I'd love to hear them.

[Stephen]

There really isn't much to say other than awesome roleplay. There was nothing I didn't like about it from beginning to end. My favorite part was definitely the Hardaway shirt lol. I almost stopped reading right there because that was too clever lol. You clearly one of the best writers here, and honestly, one of the best writers whose works I've had the pleasure of reading over my almost decade as a roleplayer.

Question: Were/Are you an English major?

[Vinny]

Aug 2, 2013 12:20:37 GMT -5 Stephen said:

Question: Were/Are you an English major?

Not to ignore all the awesome compliments (thanks, BTW), but you'll be surprised to learn I was a Computer Science major.

[Jerry]

If I didn't know that your name was Vinny and that you were from Boston, I'd swear you were Josh from Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Brief backstory, the guy was the best roleplayer that I had ever seen when he was motivated. When he wasn't he was still better than 90% of the roster.

I said it on Twitter, the OOC, and now here. That roleplay is the perfect example on why sometimes less is more. The way you intertwine your character development with your shoot is awesome.

I love the darkness of Drake, and I always look forward to your stuff. To me, this was the best roleplay of the week.

[Stephen]

Aug 3, 2013 0:21:01 GMT -5 Vinny said:

Aug 2, 2013 12:20:37 GMT -5 Stephen said:

Question: Were/Are you an English major?

Not to ignore all the awesome compliments (thanks, BTW), but you'll be surprised to learn I was a Computer Science major.

Wow, I am surprised by that. I'm still deciding on a major (I got blazed a lot during my first attempt at college and became the classic, unmotivated stoner. Even switched from Poly Sci to Philosophy lol) right now. Now I'm back in school and have my shit together. I thought about CS for awhile, but I just don't know if it's something I'd like. I'll probably take a course or two at some point though, just to see.

[Vinny]

The thing I always advise is that if you don't know what you want to do, take the major that will get you the best paying job as soon as possible. You'll have plenty of time while doing that job to figure out what you want to do, and you might even have some money to do it with.

[Vinny]

Aug 3, 2013 10:05:57 GMT -5 Jerry said:

To me, this was the best roleplay of the week.

That's some high praise! Thanks!

[Vinny]

Waxing and Waning

Probably my worst title to date, but I liked writing this one. What did you guys and gals think?

[Chris Q]

Outstanding. I had to read the last couple lines of the scene setting a few times to make sure I was following what was happening with the flicking of the forehead and the janitor thing. Could have been worded a little smoother I think, but I was able to figure it out. I think.

I liked the idea for the museum setting quite a bit. I don't think I've ever seen that before. Great choice.

Once Drake starts shooting, everything takes off. You go for the opponent’s jugular right away (a technique I’m very found of as well) and you pull it off flawlessly.

“A man of few words? I can think of two men who could learn a thing or two from you. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, what does that make a cheap knock-off? A copy of a copy of a copy? A sad pathetic excuse for a replacement? A poor man's replication?”
- Yes. Loved it.

The remarks about the Shoot Kings at the very end almost made it seem like Malcolm is slightly distracted, but it was a solid ending regardless. Quality work as always, Vinny.

[Vinny]

Sept 14, 2013 16:38:00 GMT -5 Chris Q said:

Outstanding. I had to read the last couple lines of the scene setting a few times to make sure I was following what was happening with the flicking of the forehead and the janitor thing. Could have been worded a little smoother I think, but I was able to figure it out. I think.

I liked the idea for the museum setting quite a bit. I don't think I've ever seen that before. Great choice.

Once Drake starts shooting, everything takes off. You go for the opponent’s jugular right away (a technique I’m very found of as well) and you pull it off flawlessly.

“A man of few words? I can think of two men who could learn a thing or two from you. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, what does that make a cheap knock-off? A copy of a copy of a copy? A sad pathetic excuse for a replacement? A poor man's replication?”
- Yes. Loved it.

The remarks about the Shoot Kings at the very end almost made it seem like Malcolm is slightly distracted, but it was a solid ending regardless. Quality work as always, Vinny.

Thank you, sir. Ironically, the Shoot Kings line was the first bit I had written since I read Madman's RP first and it sort of got me rolling. I almost took it out for that reason of seeming distracted, but I decided to leave it in for reasons that may become clearer soon.

[Vinny]

New RP: Where The Road Ends

You guys have been great about the feedback and I appreciate it. I'd like to know what everyone thinks of this one. I'm pretty proud of the shoot and how I got it to tie into the setting. Speaking of which, if you're interested in the setting, plug "6283 103rd Street, Chicago Ridge, Illinois" into Google Street View and take a look around.

Thanks in advance,
- V

[Jensen Banks]

Fuck you for hurting my feelings. =P

I love the way you described the setting and the shoot was great. Well done, Vinny.

[Vinny]

Thanks, Spiro. Sorry for hurting your feels.

[Deleted]

Solid heel work.

The description is vivid yet not over bearing. I can picture the mannerisms in my head and they work with what's being said. As for speech, apart from the odd typo, a solid piece of writing. Not overly squashy; your painting The Murder and especially Drake not as saviours, but instead the pride of FGA was a deft touch. It worked because of the show that shall not be named.

Keep it up, kid, you'll go far.