Press Conference Thread for 10.12.19

[FGA Office]

DDT3 Press Conference
Venue: BJCC Concert Hall
Location: Birmingham, AL
Date: October 12, 2019 (in character)
Start Time: 12pm EST (in character)
Invitees:
The League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers, Carina Eventide & Laurel Anne Hardy


Deadline: October 12th at 9pm EST

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The following is a press conference for the 2019 Dynamic Duos Tag Team Tournament. The names listed above are the wrestlers who have been invited to this press conference. For reporters, you are more than welcome to use Vertigo's Spencer Burke or Jessie Pederson. Or you can use your home fed's interviewers if you would prefer. Or you can make up your own. Doesn't matter. IC, this press conference takes place on Saturday, October 12, 2019. The semifinals match will take place later that night.

[Giles]

When a group the size of the reporters present here today for the press conference are brought together there are so many stories despite the occupation they share. There are those that have seen it all, wrote on it all, and all the more wiser for everything they’ve experienced through life. There are those that have grown tired or jaded from the crazy ride that life and their career have taken them on. The ones that are still looking to make a change in the world, the inexperienced, the foolhardy, and worst of all those that have become corrupt from what power they perceive themselves to have. But all of them have to wait for the professional wrestlers just the same on this evening.

The dulling of the senses waiting brings is likely in part why the sudden projection of sephiatone over everything through lighting, a flashing strobe light, and thunderous bongo drum playing startles them. The more pleasant melody of maracas joins the drums and the conference room doors swing open with the blasting of a trumpet, Blaise Fader side stepping into the room playing what can only be described as interpretative jazz/funk. Ethan is right behind her shaking the maracas softly and both of them are dressed in American 50’s beatnik fashion. Small black berets on their heads, circular shaped sunglasses, a tiny mustache drawn on Blaise’s upper lip, thick black turtlenecks and blue jeans that stop short of the ankles and converse tennis shoes.

Like a groovy pied piper, Blaise leads her jazz band through the heart of the press that are unusually not thrilled to hear their musical talents up close. Ethan “breaks character” a few times to hug and shake the hands of some of them before quickly snapping back into his role, daddy-o. Fader pauses her playing to bite down on her lip, snapping her fingers frantically and near head banging to Ethan’s maracas. She’s really feeling it!

These wild cats make their way over to their proper seating, Ethan taking a seat and Blaise puts her leg up on her chair and she leans over the table. Her eyes teasing that they might no longer be obscured by the sunglasses she’s wearing and her whole facade may shatter with the reveal of how her eyes are sparkling with amusement. But her features do not betray the bit the League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers are doing, looking ever like the tortured artist that she very plainly is as anyone can see. Bizarrely neither of them gesture to a reporter, instead Ethan moves the microphone closer to his tag team partner.

BLAISE: GAMERS

She gives a pregnant pause, the press silently asking each other if they think she’s cracked.

BLAISE: YOU GAMED. YOU PLAYED. AND NOW THERE ARE NO MORE CONTINUE’S.

This...free form poetry(?) gets a rapid fire series of finger snaps from Ethan and Blaise. Ethan’s going on for considerably longer than Blaise’s.

BLAISE: BUSTER. HE’S A COOL CAT. BUT ALSO A DOG. HE LOOKS TO HIS FOOD BOWL.

Blaise does another pregnant pause, solemnly nodding her head as she recounts this tale in the grimiest way possible.

BLAISE: BUT THERE ARE ONLY CRUMBS LEFT. WHEN WILL IT BE FILLED AGAIN? WHERE ARE MY MOMMIES? WHAT IS THE PASSAGE OF TIME? AND WHY DOES THAT MAN TRY SO HARD TO BREAK INTO OUR HOME TO GIVE US THE POST?

Ethan gives a more subdued round of finger snaps.

BLAISE: THAT STRANGER IS BACK. THE TINY ONE THAT SITS ON MY BUTT. OH HOW IT DANCES AND MOCKS ME. I WILL ONE DAY CATCH YOU, YOU KNUBBY KLEVIN.

An awkward silence falls over the proceedings until Blaise nudges Ethan with her elbow and Ethan starts frantically snapping his fingers. An appreciative, but melancholy smile makes its home on Blaise’s face. After an indulgent amount of applause she gestures for Ethan to slow down, then not to slow down that fast[/i] and pick it back up just a pinch, then that it’s enough.

BLAISE: FISH.

She says matter-of-factly as if that explains everything. The confusion among the press is palpable, not at all helped by the strobe light’s flashing intensifying and the room lights lowering to obscure the League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers.

BLAISE: If you want to catch a little fish, you can stay your entire life in the shallow waters. But if you want more. If you. If you want the big fish. You’ve got to go. You’ve got to go deeper. You’ve got to sink down deep into the waters.

The peculiar way Blaise is talking is almost comparable to Captain Kirk, but delivered with a fire and an intensity that suggests this is all somehow important.

BLAISE: The fish are not what they seem. Not down there. They are powerful. Pure. Huge. Abstract. And they are more beautiful than anything you’ve ever seen-

Abruptly Blaise cuts herself off by bringing the trumpet back up to her lips and she feverishly begins playing again. It’s really unclear if she’s intentionally playing the way she is, so out of key, jumbled, or if she’s really just that bad at playing the trumpet. Either way Ethan starts shaking his maracas like he’s having convulsions.

ETHAN: I awoke one night from my slumber. I rose from my bed restless. I found myself drawn to the most beautifully lit of mirrors. In it I saw a Blaise and me that was not Blaise and me. A reflection of the League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers.

Fader’s trumpet playing becomes more erratic and unintentionally(?) cuts off Ethan.

ETHAN: Their names were not ours, but their story was much the same. I began to realise I did not rightly know if they were the reflection, or if we were their reflection.

Trying his best to sound as ominous as Blaise did, it just doesn’t quite work right for Ethan. Even when he’s doing fairly well, one can see the cracks on his facade much easier than on Blaise for this bit.

ETHAN: I was shocked one of them could talk too!

He looks out at the press as if they’d understand this lucid yarn he’s spinning, but they don’t. Maybe someone watching will. Blaise seems to, because she chuckles.

ETHAN: Recently we have been to many different worlds. Scratch beneath the surface of yours and you’ll find hundreds waiting for you to dive into. But none have been quite like the one we are about to venture into. One so similar, yet so different. It could confuse us, it could lure us in and let these reflections carry on traveling much like we have been.

Blaise lowers her trumpet, a look of existential dread overtaking her.

ETHAN: But as tempting as this wonderland is, we have a diner to get to. A diner where all manner of bizarre and wickedness may reside like in so many of these world’s too. But shelter exists. A cup of coffee to warm your bones. A delicious slice of cherry pie to give you the warm and fuzzies. And company waiting and saving us a stool that we dare not disappoint.

Ethan becomes more like himself when he talks of this diner, warm and friendly. Slowly the projected colour palette is shut off, the strobe lights cease and the house lights return to the conference room. The journalists can hear Ethan lick his lips practically when describing the pie. Blaise leans in on the table to get closer to Ethan’s microphone.

BLAISE: We’ve got a date with destiny, cats. And we're not stopping at the semi-finals.

The League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers suddenly start snapping their fingers again and they back away from their table, getting up properly. They continue snapping and backing away, never breaking eye contact with the press present. Then they’re gone, disappearing back out of the conference room the way they came.

PRESS: But...we didn’t even get to ask them any questions.

[styg]

The stage is set for one of the final press conferences of this year’s Dynamic Duos tournament. Laurel Anne Hardy and Carina Eventide are up and the artistic duo, who quickly went from being one of the underdogs to one of the favorites to win the whole thing, seem more than ready to take some questions. As was the case last time, they’re pretty laidback but still totally confident.

Jessie Pederson Laurel, Carina, welcome to the semifinals. To get here you had to overcome Prometheus and Epimetheus, Los Chicos Malos, in a physical match on the last Vertigo. Did that match go how you were expecting, or did it surprise you?

Carina and Laurel glance at each other for a moment. Laurel answers first, rubbing her neck absently as if she can still feel all those suplexes she was on the wrong side of.

Laurel Anne Hardy: Well, I said last time it wouldn’t be a night off for us, and uh... it definitely wasn’t that, was it? Those lads gave us a hell of a goin’ over. But, y’know, we gave back even better. They’re two scary, violent people in creepy bodypaint… me and Carina, we’re two scary, violent people as well, and that night we had the creepy bodypaint too.

Carina Eventide: Considering everything they threw at us, one might say they’re really good guys, po. We can’t complain; much like our match against Seren Beyer and THE BIG DOG, it was everything we would’ve hoped and more. A perfect piece to hang up on your wall and be proud of, if you will, po.

Jessie Pederson What about the other quarterfinal match the same night - The League of Extraordinary GentleGrapplers vs G3?

Laurel Anne Hardy: I’ll admit, G3 were one of the teams in this tournament I was maybe not so familiar with, yeh. But this goes back to what I was saying; for them to have made it to the quarterfinals, to go as long as they did with Blaise an’ Ethan who are two of the biggest stars goin’ right now, yeh, that’s the kinda thing that’ll get your name out there to the people who don’t know you that hey, maybe you should know us.

Carina nods along quietly before speaking. Again, she knows that Laurel’s words apply in a more symbolic way to her as well.

Carina Eventide: G3 showed a spark of great artistry that night, but obviously, po, the GentleGrapplers showed why they’re one of the favourite teams in this tournament.

Jessie Pederson And now, of course, their win puts you on course with the GentleGrapplers to close out this side of the bracket and move on to the final. Are you feeling ready for them?

Carina Eventide: Like we’ve said. Totally, po. We’re still just as focused as we were in the first two rounds, and now we’re getting used to teaming together too. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t believe in ourselves.

Laurel Anne Hardy: You know something… I’ve kinda wished we were in the Flashpoint bracket just so I don’t have to, you know, exist in any kind of actual proximity to Stephy Auger - who, to reiterate, is in contention to be the worst human. But then we wouldn’t be getting this match tonight, which is - I have to say, yeh, as much as we take every match as it comes - I think one the fans are gonna be hyped to see, and one where we can really hopefully create something special.

Carina Eventide: I can already see an image in my mind of what I want to create tonight. We’ll see how well that image comes out on the canvas.

Jessie Pederson Do you have any first hand experience against your fellow world travellers?

Laurel Anne Hardy: Ethan I’ve wrestled before, over in Japan for DTW… well. I was running with the Silent Killer in that match. So you might say I’ve wrestled him, but he hasn’t wrestled me…

She says that part with a wink.

Laurel Anne Hardy: As for Blaise, I’ve never shared the ring with her. She’s easily one of the biggest names in wrestling right now. And, if you believe her Twitter profile, she’s the ‘best beater-upper in Britain’. That’s an assertion and a half and, you know, fair play on the statement it makes. But personally? It’s one I would disagree with. I’m sure everybody’s surprised by that.

That draws laughs from the assembly - more from the combination of knowing humour and impenetrable self-assertion in Laurel’s tone than the actual words.

Laurel Anne Hardy: But, I mean, hopefully we’ll get a chance to test each other a bit tonight. I think Hardy vs Fader is a match a lot of people want to see, though to have Carina and Ethan be involved in our first meeting too, that’s great, yeh? Ethan’s a good guy and, well, now you’ve seen twice why I wanted Carina with me for this.

Carina Eventide: Carina Eventide: I'm glad I'm here!

Laurel grabs her in a mighty one-armed hug.

Laurel Anne Hardy: You know... I’m certainly cognisant of the fact that if we win tonight, then I’ll be in the final of DDT3 for the third time. You know they say third time’s the charm; if that’s really the case for me in DDT3 finals, then as much as I’d have loved to do it with Leanne or Annie, to do it helping Carina take her rightful place on the global stage would be a work I’d take exceptional pride in.

With that seeming to nicely summate their feelings, the duo take their leave.