MAIN EVENT• AIR Velocidad Championship •
© El Macaw vs. El Héroe Azul vs. vs. Luz Mala vs. Tequila Ayano vs. Tsurugi Kanemoto vs. Zack Jones In the ring, FGA announcer J.A. Aldridge greets his HELL counterpart Esteban Palacios as well as the Mexican promotion’s Senior Referee, Benny Martinez, with a warm smile. Aldridge hands his microphone over to Esteban, and Esteban nods in gratitude and holds the ropes apart for J.A. as he leaves.
Kris Cruise: So, ladies and gentlemen, that’s it from me and Stephy Auger for the night, as we hand over to the visiting commentary team from HELL.
Stephy Auger: I still don’t get why we have to leave. I’m more than capable of calling all this flippy stuff.
Kris Cruise: The board felt HELL’s staff would be best suited to commentate on their luchadors, that’s all. And here they are now! Welcome everyone Sofia Vega and Dave Vincent!
Dave: It’s just Dave, ta.
Sofia Vega: Hola amigos!
Stephy Auger: Great. Just great.
Dave: You don’t have to like it. You just have to get out my seat.
Sofia Vega: Dave! Be more polite to our hosts!
Stephy Auger: You know what? I don’t need this. Take the seat. Don’t change my settings!
Kris Cruise: Sorry about that…
Sofia Vega: Don’t be! Gracias, Kris!
Dave: Alright boys and girls, how you doing? Those of you that watch HELL on the English streams will probably realise that my broadcast partner is substantially prettier than normal. Instead of Porkchop, I’m being joined tonight by Sofia Vega from the Spanish team.
[b[
Sofia Vega:[/b] Gracias Dave! Hola everyone! It’s a pleasure to be up here commentating on tonight’s match with you! And it’s a great one - AIR Velocidad Champion El Macaw will defend his championship against not one, but five opponents in an Elimination contest!
Dave: Aye, this match includes two former Velocidad Champions, representatives of most of HELL’s major factions, an Ayano… if anyone’s playing main event bingo just call house now.
Sofia Vega: Ay, I think it’s time to begin!
On cue, our broadcast image crossfades from the commentators’ desk to Esteban in the centre of the ring.
Esteban Palacios: Señoras y señores, the following match is a six way elimination match, and is for the Campeonato Velocidad de AIR! Introducing first…
As BABYMETAL’s “Karate” blasts out of the PA system, out from behind the curtain comes Tequila Ayano! She moshes on the top of the ramp a moment to her music, to the delight of the crowd, before sprinting down to the ring.
Esteban Palacios: From Yokohama, Kanagawa, Japan, and weighing in tonight at 117lbs… TEQUILA AYANO!
Sofia Vega: Tequila is a member of the world famous Ayanos, and has quickly become a crowd favourite in HELL since debuting in the Fall. This match marks her first championship opportunity since joining us!
“O Fortuna” suddenly bursts through the PA system, echoing around the arena. After the grand intro, Luz Mala emerges from the back, slow and unsure, looking about her, seemingly unable to see the crowd around her. Slowly she makes her way down to the ring, still ignoring everyone around her, eventually reaching the ring, where she rolls in under the bottom rope. This done, she makes her way to her corner, sitting down and cradling her legs, awaiting the bell.
Esteban Palacios: And her opponent… from Parts Unknown, and weighing in at 150lbs… representing El Reinado del Terror and one half of the WCS Tag Team campeones... LUZ MALA!
Dave: Luz Mala’s great, she’s like the quiet kid who sits in the corner who’ll probably just flip out one day and cut someone. She’s not the most disciplined in the ring, sure, but her savagery and endurance have quickly turned her into one of El Reinado del Terror’s favourite weapons. She’s half of the WCS tag champs, and I think she’s a real chance at picking up her first singles title here tonight.
Tequila eyes Luz warily… as the feral youngster realises her first opponent’s watching her she snaps and barks. Meanwhile, the stirring sounds of Alan Silvestri’s theme to “The Avengers” plays as the lucha libre legend, El Héroe Azul, marches down to the ring. Once in the ring, he ascends to the second rope and poses before removing his trademark blue cape and prepares for the match.
Esteban Palacios: And their opponent… from México City, México, and tipping the scales at 234lbs… representing El Frente Unido... EL HÉROE AZUL!
Sofia Vega: El Héroe Azul is a lucha legend. His legacy extends back to the nineties, in his days as El Villano Azul. He’s a multiple time champion, and now looks to add the Velocidad championship to his trophy rack. He’s the oldest competitor in this ring by some margin, but also the most experienced, and as a member of El Frente Unido will certainly be hoping to get a victory over the Reinado here.
El Héroe drops into the ring and glances between Luz Mala and Tequila, keeping his distance from both. The lights die down in the arena, the fans shifting around uncertainly as they see a figure move onto the stage, turning their back on them all, crowd murmuring amongst themselves as they wonder who this is, until suddenly a voice yells out over the silence.
[align=center]
SON OF A BITCH![/align]
The lights brighten up, the crowd immediately booing at the turncoat, who just waits as the voice mixes with the boos to introduce him.
[align=center]
God likes me!
I am the best!
Fuck everybody else, suck on my dick!
I’m perfect!
I am the best!
Fuck Every! Body! Else![/align]
With a whisper of “God likes me,” Mindless Self Indulgence’s “Witness” begins in earnest as Tsurugi Kanemoto turns on the stage to face the crowd booing him, a wide grin on his face. He begins to saunter down the ramp, clearly soaking up the jeers and hate coming from the crowd.
Esteban Palacios: And their opponent… from Le Ciel Nocturne, and weighing in at 175lbs… representing Yasei-gun… TSURUGI KANEMOTO!
He reaches the ring, hopping up onto the apron next to the corner and waiting only a moment to soak up more of the hate before hopping the ropes and onto the second turnbuckle. He reaches up and unzips his chest protection, baring his body and his black winged tattoo to the world in time with a final scream of the song.
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I am born AGAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN![/align]
Still with that grin on his face, Tsurugi tosses the chest piece away carelessly before propping his body up on the ropes, waiting for the match to begin.
Dave: The Hunter in White, Yasei-gun’s Tsurugi Kanemoto, is a former Velocidad champion. He won the belt in what some would call… controversial circumstances, and lost it on his second defence to the man who is champion tonight. What’s going to be most interesting though, I reckon, is his relationship with Zack Jones, the man he himself beat for the title. And speaking of the devil...
"Earthquake" by Labrinth blares throughout the arena as the lights go off and Zack Jones steps through the curtain, dressed in a silver glow in the dark hoodie. He bobs his head before the beat kicks in and Jones turns around, revealing his name in gold on the back. The lights then slowly come back on as Zack looks back at the cheering audience, a big smile on his face. Jones then quickly races down to the ring, slapping hands with as many fans as possible. He slides into the ring before quickly getting to his feet and racing towards a corner. Jones then hops on the turnbuckles and removes his hoodie before dropping it to the outside of the ring. He then points at different members of the audience before dropping down and leaning up against his corner. He locks eyes with Tsurugi, the Yasei-gun member having watched him intently all throughout his entrance.
Esteban Palacios: And their opponent… fighting out of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing 196lbs… representing Los Dioses Jóvenes and one half of the HKW World Tag Team Champions… ZACK JONES!
Sofia Vega: Possibly the contender best known by our international audience, Zack Jones is both a former SSWA World Champion and a former AIR Velocidad Champion! As Dave said, Tsurugi Kanemoto, the man who stole the title from Zack through illegal means, is also present in this match. Will Zack be focused on revenge? Or will he be looking to reclaim what many still consider to be his championship?
The lights fade in the arena for a moment, multiple colored spotlights showing up as the PA system picks up immediately from the 32 second mark of “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes, a figure slowly stepping forward from the curtains, his silhouette partly covered by a pair of huge macaw wings until he’s in full view of the spotlights, revealing himself to be none other than “El Macaw” as the crowd cheers appropriately as they take a look at his visage. It does not take long for El Macaw to walk down the ramp, calling himself things like a “firestarter, baby” and telling the world he’s ready to bring the fun straight down to HELL as he then hops up the apron and enters the ring carefully...the spotlights coming down to the center of the ring as a familiar line to meme enthusiasts everywhere hits the PA system…
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AND I SAY HEEEEEEYYYYYEEEEEHEEEEYYYYYAAAYAYAEYAEYAAAAAAA
I SAID HEY! WHAT’S GOING ON?!?!?!?![/align]
At the cue, El Macaw spreads his wings wide to the awe of the crowd while singing the chorus of the song in full and leading the crowd along to it, getting even bigger cheers from them before the lights return to normal and “What’s Up” fades from the PA system while El Macaw carefully removes his macaw wings, passing them along to the timekeeper on the outside and preparing for his match.
Esteban Palacios: And finally, the defending champion… hailing from San Diego, California, weighing 190lbs… representing El Frente Unido… el Campeón Velocidad de AIR… EL MACAW!
Dave: And here’s Parrot Boy himself.
Sofia Vega: DAVE! El Macaw is a former Legión del HELL champion alongside Bradley Chadwick, and is looking to impress internationally with a defence against all these strong competitors tonight! It’s hard to believe that he’s only been wrestling for nearly two years now.
Dave: Aye, he, and all these competitors to be fair, are really talented. You people are in for a treat.
The bell rings, and immediately Tsurugi moves, cutting straight across Macaw, going for Zack Jones, unleashing strikes and kicks at the Philadelphian who does his best to guard against them. Héroe sees this, taking his cue to takes it to Luz Mala - only to be shocked as the savage charges into him, straight across Tequila with a Shoulder Tackle, trying to shift him. Héroe resists a moment, Mala’s tires spinning but not gaining traction, until he hits her straight in the back with a Double Axe Handle, flattening her. Looking at each other, Macaw and Tequila shrug, before stepping up and tying up Collar and Elbow in the middle of the ring. Macaw looks like he might get the edge over Tequila, until she suddenly shifts, transitioning into a Butcher’s Hook, causing Macaw to yell out in a mix of surprise and pain.
Sofia Vega: And we’re off! Tsurugi has gone straight for Zack with those stiff strikes, forcing Zack back into a corner!
In the corner, Tsurugi has his forearm buried in Zack’s face, forcing his head back as he forces Muay Thai styles knees into his midsection. Benny warns Tsurugi to release him from the corner, and begrudgingly he does, letting Zack stumble forward… straight into a Hip Toss!
Dave: Jonesy’s in some trouble early here, Tsurugi’s come out with a massive chip on his shoulder, and an even bigger point to prove.
BUT ZACK LANDS ON HIS FEET! Jones over-rotates in the air, and as soon as the soles of his boots kiss the mat he sets off running, in between the pairs of Luz Mala and El Héroe Azul, the Blue Hero unleashing Clubbing Forearms into the back of a Front Facelock trapped Luz, and El Macaw and Tequila Ayano, Tequila having transitioned through into Hammerlock causing Macaw to desperately flap around for relief. Tsurugi starts to follow Zack, but Jones hits a Handspring against the ropes, coming back and twisting… ZACKNADO!
Sofia Vega: Zacknado! Zack Jones adding a handspring to that big Corkscrew Enzuigiri of his, and catching Tsurugi entirely off guard!
Dave: Yeah if you’re bringing out the big guns that early, you’d better make them count.
Zack grabs both of Tsurugi legs, and flips over him with a Bridging Jacknife Pin!
¡UNO!
¡DO-
Tsurugi gets the shoulder up! Zack rolls off of him, shaking his head, as Tsurugi rolls back onto his knees… just in time to avoid Luz Mala crashing into the mat, the recipient of a Backdrop Suplex from El Héroe Azul! Luz bounces off the canvas, clutching at her already sore back, and goes reeling into the ropes, resting against them. Her head comes up just in time to see Héroe come running with a Viciouskick, aimed square at her head, but Luz drops taking the middle rope down with her as she goes! As the Running Arched Big Boot sails safely over her to the outside, she releases the rope, firing it straight into the exposed crotch of Héroe! His eyes instantly cross as he leans on the top rope, fighting for air, still strung up on the middle rope.
Dave: Well that’s gunna smart. Ugh… Jesus, what’s wrong with this chair? Auger’s got this set up all weird. Hang on, lemme just… there we go, that’s better.
Benny chastises Luz Mala for using the ropes like that, but knows he’s essentially powerless to do anything about it as she waves him off with a grunt. She stands as she does before hitting the stricken Héroe with a Back Rake, drawing blood with her claw-like nails! Meanwhile, Macaw has managed to reverse Tequila into a Wrist Lock, before segueing into an Arm Drag! Tequila rolls through to her feet, coming charging back… straight into another Arm Drag! Macaw follows up, charging down Tequila… running into a Japanese Arm Drag! They both Kip Up, Tequila looking to hit a Spinning Sweep - but Macaw hops over the leg, bounces up to the ropes and comes back with a Springboard Arm Drag, sending Tequila reeling into the corner! Macaw dazzles the crowd with a quick samba display, finishing off with an extravagant ¡Olé! before running in, leaping and spinning, catching a slumped Tequila in the face with a Leaping Hip Attack! As Tequila stumbles out of the corner, Macaw licks a finger before pressing it against his right buttcheek, miming the intense heat coming from it with a sizzling sound, before turning back round… INTO A SHOULDER TACKLE FROM LUZ MALA!
Sofia Vega: El Macaw en fuego out there, but here comes Luz Mala to douse his flames.
Luz, who’s left Héroe caught up in the ropes, quickly transitions to a mounted position as she starts firing wild punches into the floored Macaw. The technicolour técnico tried to cover up as best he can, but the savage young luchadora enmascarada’s fists smash right through his defences. That is until Tequila flies into her from behind with a leg lariat across the back of the neck! The move snaps Luz into Macaw; Tequila skids round to a three point stance then flips herself on top of both of them at once with a handstand into a senton splash. She rolls Luz aside and covers El Macaw.
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
The champion kicks out. Tequila turns her attention to Luz Mala, pulling her to her feet. She knocks Luz back with a headbutt, then measures her for a roundhouse, but El Macaw kips up and catches both of them with fast chops to the jaw! He drags both of them in under his arms and lets out a
”LET’S GO, BAYBAAAY!”, then throws himself backwards for a double DDT - but he’s grabbed from behind and launched into the air by El Héroe Azul, sending Tequila and Luz over in suplexes too! The women roll across the mat while Macaw thrashes and kicks around clutching his lower spine.
Dave: That old bastard has the best German suplex in the business, bar none.
Sofia Vega: ¡Increíble!
El Macaw’s panting in pain as he gets to all fours. But he’s squished right back down as El Héroe steps off him, using him as a launchpad to nail a big 234lb leaping elbow drop across Tequila! He slide off her and waggles his fingers, ready to lock in his sleeper hold, but Luz Mala has other ideas as she flies onto his shoulders and clamps herself around him in a piggyback sleeper of her own. Azul spins around and around, trying in vain to shake her off.
While all of this is going on, Tsurugi and Zack still haven’t disengaged from one another. Zack has the edge at the moment, having dropped Tsurugi to his knees with a Low Dropkick to the back of the patella! He runs the ropes, coming back from behind Tsurugi, leaping onto and spinning around his shoulders… driving him face first into the mat with a Huracanrana Driver! Quickly back to his feet, he launches into a Standing Moonsault, but Tsurugi rolls out of harm’s way, getting to one knee with an Ukemi! Zack saw it coming, however, managing to spin round onto his feet, to a cheer from the crowd!
Sofia Vega: Zack showing everybody why he is recognised as one of the most exciting high flying luchadores in the world today!
With a cocky smirk, Zack sprints forward, looking for a Platinum Kick, but Tsurugi flops backwards, dodging the Arched Big Boot with a Matrix, landing his palms square on the mat and pushing up, and as Zack turns back to face him he gets a Handstand Kick, right to the crown of the head! He staggers back, before coming back towards Tsurugi still in the Handstand, and straight into a Headscissors Takedown! Zack rolls through to his feet, but Tsurugi is already there… he rolls under Zack’s attempt at a Lariat, and with a quick check to make sure Benny is still wrapped up checking on Héroe, strikes with a Mule Kick Low Blow straight between Zack’s legs, flowing seamlessly into a Backslide whilst shouting for Benny’s attention!
Dave: The Hanged Man! I hope Zack weren’t planning on having any more kids!
Sofia Vega: Benny missed the low blow, but he’s there for the pin! So unfair!
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
¡TR-
Zack manages to flip himself backwards out of the Backslide! He staggers back to the ropes, and as Tsurugi looks up to see what’s happened he gets both soles in the face as Zack bounces back with a Low Front Dropkick!
Sofia Vega: The battle between these two is more than just the fight between two factions. This is personal! Zack is looking for revenge. Tsurugi is looking to prove he is no “paper champion.”
Dave: These two really can’t stand each other on a personal level. You know how sometimes rivals have a great respect for each other, deep down? Yeah, none of that here.
Jones follows up with a high knee strike to the chin. He pushes into Tsurugi, looking to whip him away from the ropes, but the Yasei-gun member backrolls on them to flip a high kick up into Zack’s face! As the momentum stumbles Zack back, Tsurugi grabs his arm and runs up the ropes to leap over the them, and snap the Philadelphian’s elbow across the top! Zack clutches his arm back sharply, wincing; Tsurugi grabs the top rope with both hands and vaults back out in a springboard dropkick that shoots Zack backward, right into an armdrag from Tequila! Seeing Zack go down, Tsurugi sees red and bellows
”HE’S MINE!”, and ploughs into Tequila with a body press takedown! He rains a series of elbow swipes into her face that soon have her loopy. He’s lifted off her from behind by El Macaw, and the reigning champion leaps onto the shoulders of the man he beat for the title to whip him off his feet with a huracanrana. But Tsurugi throws himself back to over-rotate and slip free from Macaw’s grip. Both men crash down, but Tsurugi is back up first, powered by his rage. Tequila Ayano and El Macaw glance at each other for a moment and then rush him together. Opponents they may be, but Tsurugi goes far beyond that. This is the man who betrayed the técnicos for El Reinado del Terror, only to betray El Reinado for Yasei-gun in turn; the man who’s spent most of the last year waging a bloody war against his own brother, Masato. Tequila and Macaw slam into Tsurugi with a high kick / low legsweep combo, but as they fall on him, he grabs each of them by the hair and cracks their heads in together!
Sofia Vega: What a counter! Not pretty but great awareness.
Dave: That’s Tsurugi for you. He’s at his best when he’s on the back foot. Give him the lead, he’ll probably blow it. Put him behind and he’ll tear the walls down.
Sofia Vega: And now he has joined the Yasei-gun, he is even more deadly!
Dave: Aye. To get you newbies up to speed, Yasei-gun is Michiko Yamada’s army, formed when she turned her back on El Reinado del Terror, and more importantly its founder Miedo, taking a bunch of its members with her, as well as some new recruits. Currently, they’re doing important things like making people’s lives as hard as possible, as violently as they can. It’s a thing of beauty, really.
Tsurugi rises to his knees and points down at Macaw with furious venom in his face.
”YOU!” he screams, and slides in close to pound at the champion with closed fists. Tequila drags him away and tries to roll him into a crucifix pin, but Tsurugi twists free and swings his boot up to clip her in the nose with as toe kick. She falls away holding it in both hands, leaving Tsurugi free to drag Macaw up by the lapel of his spangly bodysuit and crack him right between the eyes with a right cross! He grabs at Macaw again, but the flamboyant Californian rolls under the ropes and drops off the apron. Tsurugi pounces to his feet and spins around, searching for something that could only be Zack Jones. He skips past El Héroe Azul and Luz Mala, who are pounding each other with strikes in the furthest corner. There’s no sign of Zack…
...that’s because he’s right behind him! Zack spins Tsurugi around and kicks him across the face with a roundhouse, then pulls him over his shoulders...throws him into the air… and TURNS TSURUGI’S LIGHTS RIGHT OFF WITH A SOBER UP! The kick hits hard and Tsurugi hits the mat like a stone, leaving Zack to roll on top of him and hook a leg…
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
¡TRES!
Esteban Palacios: Señoras y señores, Tsurugi Kanemoto has been eliminated!
A huge cheer arises from the stands and the balcony of the Hammerstein as Zack gets up to a kneeling position, staring down at the man who robbed him of the Velocidad Championship. The job’s not done yet, though: now he has to beat four other people to take it back. On cue, Tequila - with blood seeping from her nostrils - hooks her limbs around Zack’s shoulders and rolls him down into a crucifix!
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
¡TR-
Zack powers out of it, and the crowd cheers to see that he’s still in this! Jones and Ayano are both quick to their feet and they start throwing strikes towards each other, jostling for control of the match flow. Across the ring from them, El Héroe Azul has gotten the better of Luz Mala. The grizzled veteran lifts the savage, before planting her with a Trueno Azul, holding on for the pin attempt!
¡UNO!
Mala kicks out!
Dave: Don’t let her size fool you, Luz Mala has proved time and time again since she’s one of the toughest luchadores HELL has to offer.
Sofia Vega: He’s really trying to put her away! It’s obvious that this is about far more than him versus her; this is El Frente Unido vs. El Reinado del Terror! El Hijo vs. Miedo!
Dave: For those of you at home new to HELL, let me get you up to speed: for the past year and a half, HELL has been in the grip of its Commissioner, Miedo, and his faction, El Reinado del Terror.
Sofia Vega: Sí! But recently El Hijo del Espíritu Santo, Miedo’s brother, has managed to unify the warring técnico factions into one super faction, El Frente Unido, to oppose his brother!
Dave: Well, all except Los Dioses Jóvenes, the squad that young Zack Jones there is a member of. They’re trying to keep themselves out of the war.
Sofia Vega: Sí! But recently Miedo has been temporarily relieved of his position as Comisionado! Without his power over the company, will El Reinado be able to maintain its stranglehold on HELL?
Dave: It’s like Eastenders but more believable.
Slowly shaking his head, Héroe gets up once more, bringing Luz with him. Locking in a Waist Lock, the crowd begin to cheer the inevitable German Suplex, only for Luz to start firing Back Elbows into his frame! Seeking to regain control, hell pulls her arms up into a Full Nelson! Swinging her about like a rag doll, it looks like he’s about to go for a Full Nelson Suplex, but when he dips to hoist her up, she wraps her hands around his head and sits out, bringing him down with a huge Jawbreaker! He staggers back, which just allows her to twist and follow up with a Koppu Kick that knocks him down a seated position, with her tacking a Rolling Sole Butt onto the end of the combo and laying him out flat! Meanwhile, Zack Jones has managed to catch Tequila with a Dropsault, sending her staggering back into the re-entering El Macaw who catches her with a Headlock Takedown! Zack looks about, surveying his opponents… before his eye is caught by Tsurugi Kanemoto! The Hunter In White, although eliminated, is still in the ring, slowly pulling himself up with the ring ropes, shaking from the effort. Zack looks to Benny, but Referee Martinez is busy checking on Tequila as Macaw applies torque to the Grounded Headlock.
Sofia Vega: Zack doesn’t seem to like how long it’s taking for Tsurugi to leave the ring, and looks like he’s about to do something about it!
Zack quickly approaches Tsurugi, poised to grab him by the hair and waistband and throw him out, when suddenly Tsurugi’s head snaps round!
UNRESTRAINED CONFIDENCE!
Tsurugi spins on the spot like a top, adding incredibly momentum to his already famously devastating Roundhouse Kick! Benny Martinez doesn’t see it, he’s too busy checking on Tequila still! Zack spins from the force of the blow… STRAIGHT INTO A SOL MUERTO FROM LUZ!
Dave: First that’s devastating Roundhouse Kick from Tsurugi, and now Luz Mala’s lethal Gamengiri! Zack’s got to be out of it!
Tsurugi quickly hops out through the ropes, whilst shouting for Benny’s attention. The referee looks up, just in time to see Luz hook Zack’s leg, causing him to dive in and count the cover!
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
¡TRES!
Esteban Palacios: Señoras y señores, Zack Jones has been eliminated!
Sofia Vega: No! It’s so unfair! Tsurugi stole the championship opportunity from Zack, like he stole the title from him originally!
Dave: Well not exactly like he stole it before. The whole of Yasei-gun came out to help him before.
Sofia Vega: You know what I mean!
Zack is out of it on the mat, eyes blinking as he feverishly counts stars. Tsurugi, still not quite solid from the earlier Sober Up, leans against the ring barrier, casually telling a fan booing him to “Va sucer les seins de ta mère.” Luz quickly bounces up, just in time to catch a huge Running Lariat from El Héroe Azul! Tequila, meanwhile, has managed to reach the ropes, and even with Benny not around to instruct him, El Macaw, ever the, uh, gentleman, releases the hold! The extent of his chivalry ends there, however, as he’s quick to pull her back to her feet, before pulling her over with a Hairmare into the corner! She spins around into a slumped seated position, still recovering from the extended Headlock, as El Macaw notices the predicament she’s in, and starts to fire up the band! Getting the audience clapping for him, he shows off a little salsa footwork, before loudly singing “SHE BANGS, SHE BANGS!, and sprinting at her, leaping at her with his Vuelo de Macaw… ONLY FOR TEQUILA TO SUDDENLY SIT BOLT UPRIGHT, HEADBUTTING HIM SQUARE IN THE CROTCH! Macaw’s hands move straight to his groin as he drops to the mat, foetal. Tequila, for her part, merely rubs her forehead, unsure of what’s gone on.
Dave: Does nobody wear a cup any more?
Blinking, Tequila sees Macaw is down, but is unable to work out for why. Héroe, however, knows exactly why Luz Mala is down, having just brought her crashing down to the mat with a Swinging Neckbreaker! Holding onto her, he stands once more, bringing her with him, before hoisting her up with a massive Vertical Suplex! He floats over for the pin!
¡UNO!
¡DO-
Luz with the shoulder up! But she’s not showing much more life than that. Azul peels her up and whips her across the ring - right into the still-sitting Tequila! The two women both go back down again as they collide. El Héroe is on them quickly, ploughing a low running dropkick right through Tequila’s face before standing back up, hauling Luz over his shoulders as he does - but as he goes to swing her out into a slam, she claws at his face through the eyeholes on his mask with her long, filthy fingernails. She doesn’t quite get his actual eyes but the stabbing, shooting jolts in his nerves around the sockets are still enough to force him to drop her. She doesn’t land well but she’s quickly back up to her feet, coiled like a cat, and she pounces the popular veteran trying to drive him down to the mat. Tequila flies at both of them with a double knee shot all primed; Luz sense it coming and swings away, leaving Azul to take it full force. He staggers back and Tequila swings a roundhouse into him, only for Luz Mala to dart back and ram the Liquored-Up Luchadora with a headbutt to the gut. Tequila’s cheeks bulge and she drops to one knee, hands wrapping around her stomach, looking very, very much like she’s about to lose her (no doubt liquid) lunch. Seeing this, Luz closes in and removes Tequila’s arms from their position through the judicious use of uppercuts to her jaw, and once Ayano’s midsection is exposed again, Luz throws in a flurry of kicks. But she’s grabbed from behind by El Héroe Azul, who headbutts Luz in the back of the skull! He muscles the wild woman of El Reinado del Terror into an inverted facelock and lifts her up into a vertical stall.
Sofia Vega: El Héroe is by far the biggest and strongest in this match. But don’t let his size fool you-
Dave: ...or his age...
Sofia Vega: He can definitely still fly when he wants to.
That he can, but right now his focus is on throwing Luz Mala back in an inverted suplex. He’s got some attention from other quarters as Tequila (still looking a little bit green around the gills) lurches over and leaps into both Azul and Mala at once with a body block. The impact sends El Héroe staggering back, yet he manages to stay upright and keep hold of his thrashing load! Tequila tenses, about to leap up for a dropkick, but before she can take to the air the battlecry drifts out across the Hammerstein along with two handfuls of glitter:
”CAN YOU PAINT WITH ALL THE COLOURS OF THE WIND!?”Sofia Vega: EL MACAW!
The exotico leaps from the top turnbuckle into all three of his remaining challengers at once, crushing Tequila into El Héroe, knocking Héroe flat on his back, and dropping Luz down into that inverted suplex!
That whole exchange? Yeah, not every fan got a decent chance to see what was going on properly, because a good chunk of them in the front row had Tsurugi throwing a tantrum at ringside, still ranting about his elimination and refusing to leave. It’s clear from the malicious look in his eyes that the betrayer is ready to screw with the four wrestlers remaining. He grabs a chair and hovers around, keeping his eyeline just over the apron, ready to slide in and strike as they all go tumbling across the ring courtesy of Macaw’s dive…
BUT ZACK FLIES FROM ANOTHER CORNER WITH A HEADSCISSORS THROW! The fans roar as the longest-reigning Velocidad Champion dives down and flips Tsurugi off his feet! The Liberated Blade is taken by surprise but he rallies quickly, springing up and charging into Zack, spearing him against the guardrail. But Zack’s still swinging punches into Tsurugi as the two men go spilling into the stands. FGA and Hammerstein security alike flood around them, pushing fans back out of harm’s way as Zack and Tsurugi roll over and over, slugging the crap out of each other!
Dave: They’re both eliminated, but why let that get in the way of a good fight?
Back in the ring, it’s Macaw who’s first to his feet from the throng of bodies, closely followed by fellow El Frente Unido member El Héroe Azul. Macaw goes to hook him up, but finds his chest viciously assaulted with a Knife Edge Chop! Macaw recoils, clutching at his chest, staggering around… straight into a second, and then a third chop! Flexing his right arm, El Héroe looks to complete the combo with a massage clothesline, BUT MACAW DUCKS! Macaw flanks Héroe with one smooth move, driving an Elbow into the small of Héroe’s back! This gets the veteran’s attention once more, as he spins round, catching an Elbow Smash to the face, rocking him back on his heels! Macaw wastes no time, following up quickly with a Palm Strike to the chest, before connecting with a high leaping Dropsault!
Sofia Vega: El Homenaje a La Serafín! El Macaw’s tribute to his idol, Fiona Rourke!
El Héroe finally falls to the mat like a great oak! Sensing what may be his opportunity, Macaw starts sambaing once more! He runs the ropes, working in the salsa steps as he does, clicking imaginary castanets in his hands, as El Héroe slowly sits back up… and El Macaw lands a powerful Soccer Kick straight to his chest! He drops for the cover, shouting “
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!” as he does!
Dave: The Tiro Penal de Macaw! He lands it!
Sofia Vega: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
¡TRES!
Héroe gets the shoulder up, but it’s moments too late!
Esteban Palacios: Señoras y señores, El Héroe Azul has been eliminated!
Sofia Vega: And just like that another favourite is out!
Much as she did to Zack before, Tequila rolls El Macaw up from behind as soon as he stands!
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
He kicks out! They both kip up, coming face to face. They have the same idea of what to do next, swinging back roundhouses into each other causing their ankles to collide; while they’re both off balance, one foot on the ground and one in the air, Luz Mala trips both of them with what you might technically call a double leg takedown! She swarms over, trying her best to stay on top of both of them at once and throwing punches, knees, elbows, headbutts, bites, rakes… basically anything. Benny Martinez warns her about the latter two and she snarls at him like a rabid scrapyard dog. That momentary opening is enough for Macaw to roll her away and down into a crucifix.
¡UNO!
No! She flings herself free of his grip, but straight into the grasp of Tequila, who goes for an Arm Wrench Inside Cradle!
¡UNO!
Denied again!
Dave: She’s like the bloody Duracell bunny or something, she just won’t stay down.
At ringside, Zack and Tsurugi are still brawling, but the security guards finally manage to separate them - though it’s taking some effort to hold them back. Luz fights back up from the floor, greeting an advancing Macaw with a wild Slap, before giving Tequila one of the same, managing to fight both of them off until they both step in with simultaneous kicks to the midsection, doubling her up. Ayano and Macaw look to each other, and with a nod both pick her up for a Double Suplex, stalling her just a moment… but it’s a moment to long! At the apex, she furiously kicks her legs, sending herself off balance, and swinging back down, keeping both their heads locked as she swings her legs between them and drills both to the mat with a Double DDT!
Sofia Vega: Luz fights purely by instinct, or so it seems, and tonight her instincts are serving her well!
She’s quick back to her feet, dragging Tequila up with her and forcing her against the ropes, barreling some quick Forearm Shots into the face for good measure, before she sends her running! Tequila comes back, straight into an Oscuridad!
Dave: She may be small, but that Spinebuster is one of the best you’ll ever find in Mexico.
She hooks both legs, desperately holding on for the pin.
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
El Macaw with the save!
Dave: I’m not sure that’s a wise move. This is an elimination match for a reason - it’s everyone for themselves. He’d have been better off letting Tequila take the pin than be worried about dealing with her later.
Sofia Vega: Not everyone is as mistrusting as you! I think he’s hoping to team with Tequila some more to finish off Luz Mala!
Macaw drags Luz Mala up to her feet, spins her around by the shoulder… and catches an Apagón for his trouble, the Spinning Backfist catching him completely by surprise and knocking him flat on his ass! With a guttural roar, she runs the ropes, and spotting Tequila on all fours uses her as a launchpad, delivering a Double Foot Stomp as she does so, to fly into the seated Macaw with a Meteora! She quickly grabs his hair with one hand, holding his head in place as the other hand starts machine gunning closed fists into his face! Benny start to reprimand her, but quickly has to dive out of the way as Tequila somersaults over Luz, grabbing her head as she goes, to deliver a Forward Somersault Cutter to the crazed luchadora! As Macaw clutches his face, Tequila pulls Luz upright, and delivers a couple of Shoot Kicks to her calf. With a nod, she turns and runs to the ropes, leaping up to the top, looking for her Springboard Moonsault Reverse DDT, but Luz wasn’t as stunned as she seemed, following Tequila to the ropes, and shoving her off the top rope, sending her crashing into the ring barrier!
Sofia Vega: No! Tequila looking for her Bloody Maria, but instead finds herself a crowd barrier!
Dave: That ain’t going to help her fear of heights none, I tell you now.
As Tequila slumps into railing, Luz backs away from the ropes… only to have El Macaw leapfrog onto her shoulders! She staggers back under the surprise weight, whilst he does a little dance, only for her to turn and push him off with an Electric Chair Wheelbarrow Facebuster… but he manages to break his fall for with his hands, pushing himself back up into the Wheelbarrow, screaming “
TECHNICOLOR WONDERLAND” at the top of his lungs, only for Luz to suddenly release his legs as he arches his back up, locking in a Half Nelson Choke!
Sofia Vega: Dios mio! El Macaw looked certain to hit his Wheelbarrow Victory Roll Facebuster, the Technicolor Wonderland, but at the last moment Luz Mala counters with a Luz Moribunda!
Dave: Macaw’s in trouble now! He’s in the ring with nowhere to go… Tequila’s still working out where the hell she is on the outside…
Luz drags Macaw to the ground, and adds a Bodyscissors to the submission!
Dave: … and now Luz is squeezing what little air he has left in his lungs out of his body! I can’t see Macaw coming back from this.
As Macaw slumps in her arms, referee Benny checks on him. He lifts the arm… and it falls! He lifts it again, same result. He lifts it one last time… it stays in the air… just a second, before it falls too!
Esteban Palacios: Señoras y señores, El Macaw has been eliminated!
Sofia Vega: I almost can not believe it! El Macaw is out!
Dave: You know what that means: we
will have a new champion tonight, and it will be one of these two women. I don’t want to jinx anything, but looking at this pair right now, I’d say it’s Luz’s match to lose.
Sofia Vega: But if anyone can match Luz Mala’s wildness it’s an Ayano!
Luz doesn’t seem to want to let go of the now former champion - is she intent on causing him yet more damage, or does she just not realise he’s out of the match? It’s hard to tell. Either way, when Benny drags her off El Macaw, she snaps at him. The senior official of HELL stands his ground, warning Luz that if she either attacks him or continues to punish Macaw, he can eject her and hand the victory and the title to Tequila Ayano.
It’s hard to tell whether that’s an effective deterrent to Luz Mala or not.
It doesn’t matter, as Tequila flies down from the top rope, planting both boots in Mala’s breastplate with a missile dropkick! Luz rolls over and over, head over heels, and as she comes up Tequila rushes in with a kick to her skull. Luz is bounced right back into the ropes and Tequila presses the advantage, but the Reinado member clamps around her leg and starts trying to wheel Tequila off her feet. Ayano responds by grabbing the top rope with both hands and jamming the knee of her other leg into Luz; Luz lets go and goes to grab Tequila around the waist, but Tequila bounces off the ropes and snaps Luz onto her head with a reverse DDT!
Sofia Vega: There’s the Bloody Maria! The Springboard Moonsault DDT - usually we see that inverted but Tequila twists it up!
Dave: She missed it last time, but this time it dumps Luz right on her head.
Tequila scrambles on top of Luz, hooking both legs...
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
¡TRE-
LUZ FLINGS HERSELF FREE! They both spring up and Tequila immediately rolls forwards into a koppu kick, but Luz is already pouncing and catches the upside-down Ayano around the waist with a spear! She drives Tequila into the canvas and rains in a storm of closed fist punches, even as she floats round to face the right direction - the blows striking all over Tequila’s body until Luz has twisted herself into mount. With the adrenaline flowing, Tequila shoves Luz aside and hops up, but Luz is deep in the zone and she rips Tequila right off her feet into a powerslam! She covers.
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
The fans cheer as Tequila kicks out. But Luz just muscles the smaller woman onto her side and cranks her arm back.
Dave: Another Luz Moribunda! She eliminated the champ with this. Can she win the title with it too?
Tequila kicks and struggles in an attempt to prevent the hold getting locked in fully, and she manages to hook a foot over the bottom rope. Benny instructs Luz to let go. She ignores him completely until he physically pulls her away. Before she can go for him, Tequila downs her again with a drop toehold, and goes to lock in her own dangerous submission hold, Tequila Sunrise! But as she’s wrapping her legs around Luz’s head for the Koji Clutch, Luz sinks her teeth into Tequila’s thigh! The youngster from Yokohama yelps and quickly draws back on reflex; Luz makes a scrabble for her but Tequila kicks her away and rolls to the ropes. She reaches down into her knee pad and pulls out a small hipflask, and takes a bracing shot.
Sofia Vega: Drinking in a match. Very Ayano of her.
Dave: I can’t blame her, especially facing someone like Luz Mala. Sometimes tanked up’s the best way to fight.
Luz growls as she crosses back to Tequila and sinks onto her, and begins clawing for her face - only for Tequila to wheel her arms to break Luz’s apart and then spray a mouthful of her namesake drink through the eyeholes of the savage’s mask! As the Agave Mist burns at Luz Mala’s eyes, Tequila wraps her up in a cradle and rolls her into a pin...
¡UNO!
¡DOS!
¡TRES!
Tequila quickly breaks the rana and slides out under the ropes, pinwheeling away from the ring, and she sinks to her knees and raises both fists in the air while “Karate” hits the speakers.
Esteban Palacios: Señoras y señores, your winner… and NEW Campeón Velocidad de AIR… TEQUILA AYANO!
The furious Luz Mala bails the ring once she’s wiped her eyes, giving chase - but Tequila snatches the Velocidad title belt and then hops the barrier, making her escape through the cheering fans while security guards hold Luz back.
Sofia Vega: Tequila has done it! Tequila Ayano is the Velocidad Campeón!
Dave: Luz Mala ain’t happy, but let’s be honest who cares if she ain’t? Not Tequila, that’s for damn sure.
Tequila takes the title in her teeth by the strap, then leaps up to grab onto the balcony, getting a boost up from a few helpful fans. She hoists herself all the way up onto the side of it and turns to survey the Hammerstein’s interior, one leg either side of the fixtures to brace herself. She spreads her arms spread wide in triumph, the AIR Velocidad Championship dangling from one of them, while the fans around her pat her and hug her as she hangs off the balcony.