The Tenacious Little Bastard Does Hollywood!

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“No accents this time,” I proclaim earnestly, as I take a seat in my Austrian hotel room; I’m freshly showered after my victory over Mason Mannion earlier tonight, the other extra commitment I took on top of my already busy schedule. I’m once again wearing the Jaelynn t-shirt that I wore at Grapple Kingdom, as well as a pair of jeans. But I’m leaning back and manspreading as I talk, “I’ve got nothing to hide here, no secrets to keep. And you’ll be able to hear that great accent on A Clockwork Knight before long anyway.”

“But tonight, right now – or whenever this gets uploaded – it’s just me,” I state, “trying to explain why I’d allegedly stick the knife in between the shoulder blades of two of my closest friends. Why I allegedly betrayed them, like Brutus to their Caesar…” I shrug, “…I’m keeping with the knife metaphor. To try and explain why I turned my back on all the loyal Domheads – or whatever my fans are called…Chad and the other two.”

“Or to try and explain why everybody is wrong about this.” I suggest, gesturing to the camera with one hand. “Think about it.”

“For all the talk about me coming to 3GW to steal somebody’s spotlight, that’s not why I agreed to do this. And it was never about sticking it to Peaches and Dan,” I shake my head, “they’re two of my best friends, and as much as I enjoy wrestling my friends – that match against you a few weeks ago was great, Peaches. And the #BroOff is still one of my favourite matches of all time, Dan. To be honest, I’d wrestle either of you anytime, anywhere. I don’t need neither rhyme nor reason to do that, but that wasn’t enough to make me jump at the opportunity.”

“And it saddens me – it hurts! – to see the things you’ve been accusing me off. That you’ve been saying about me. Peaches. Making jokes that I’m reverting back to my old ways, and saying I’m the same little bastard I’ve always been!” If that were true Peaches would’ve been left in a pool of her own blood, I think to myself, but I don’t verbalise the thought. “You see, I did this for one very simple reason…”

“Chivalry.” I state, matter-of-factly, as I stare into the camera.

“Because I saw Jaelynn Ramsey needing help, I saw her needing a partner. And while the rest of the wrestling world turned a blind eye, while they might’ve thought her undeserving of the help for whatever reason…” I shake my head, “…that’s not how Dom Harter rolls! And I’m paying it forward right now; just like how I got helped at Final Frontier 2015, when Annie Zellor went out of her way to help me when I needed it. I too am helping out Jaelynn when she needed help. When she needed a partner! So this match can happen and you two can settle this rivalry that’s developed.”

“That’s it. I saw somebody who needed help and I stepped up.”

“But!” I gesture to the camera again, raising one finger as I pause for a moment. “It’s developed past that point now. Peaches. Because since then you’ve done everything you can to run my name through the dirt. To sully my immaculate reputation! You’ve tried to make this personal, and damnit, Peaches, if I’m not in an obliging mood right now.”

“For Jae, I’ll be chivalrous. I’ll be the best damn tag partner she’s ever had – sorry Macy, but you’re number two now…” I shrug, “…still ahead of that Kaiser girl though. But for Peaches, I’m going to be your worse nightmare. Because while I may have turned over a new leaf, I still possess this unholy … WRESTLING … TALENT!” I gesticulate for emphasis, “And you’ve gone and dragged Dan with you. Sorry bro, but at Showdown in the Sun I’ll be taking a measure of revenge for All Star Showdown III. For the #BroOff. For your t-shirt company never releasing a Dom Harter t-shirt. Or any other slight I can dream up between now and then. And the Polychromatic Lion Attack Squad, former 2CW Texas tag champs, two of my best friends, my bro and broette. You’ll regret ever making this personal. Peaches. And like I beat Annie Zellor, and Mason Mannion, this weekend I’ll add two more names to the list of friends I’ve beaten inside a wrestling ring.”

“And then maybe you’ll learn not to doubt me in the future.” I say, the crooked grin spreading across my face as the scene comes to an end.